I would say this was the most action-packed hour of True Blood’s fifth season. The question is: Do you like total chaos? Because that’s where we’re at now.
So Roman is definitely dead. Russell was subdued with a light show and silver net — but not before he hung Eric on a column. “The view from up here is spectacular,” Eric said, keeping his sense of humor. Next we saw Bill and Eric, they were in a cell trying to figure out who’d set them up to fetch Russell so he could kill Roman. They accused Molly of being in on it since Russell’s iStake hadn’t worked. Why, when we’ve been guessing for weeks Salome was behind this, did it take them so long to figure it out?
They were summoned to see Nora and Salome, and Russell popped out from behind the bed’s curtains. “Fangs… you’re such boys,” he told Bill and Eric. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want to make an entrance is all.” God, Denis O’Hare is great. He couldn’t understand why Eric still wasn’t ready to forgive him for slaughtering his family. As we suspected, it was Salome who’d freed Russell from his cement grave. She’d conveniently followed them there the night they entombed him. Nora didn’t trust that Russell wouldn’t come after Eric, so she really was trying to save him, she claimed. I’m still a little fuzzy about why Salome couldn’t just off Roman herself — something about how he alone had to determine when his essence flowed (still pretty sure he didn’t choose for Russell to stake him, Salome). Salome tried to look upset about Roman’s death, but Bill wasn’t buying it. Bottom line, Salome wants to stop the spilling of vampire blood and have them all share Lilith’s power. Nora begged Eric to join them, knowing the true death awaits those who don’t. “Never, you Bible-banging c—s,” he said. Salome told them she’d give them one more chance at the following evening’s initiation ceremony.
At that ceremony, Salome said the book tells them that staking a Guardian is to turn your back on Lilith, but what do you do when the Guardian has already turned his back on her? Salome said she believes Lilith forgives Russell for what he’s done, and so does she. Russell professed his faux love for Lilith, and Nora explained that while Roman thought the bottle of Lilith’s blood was merely symbolic, it was actually her blood collected by her progeny after her death. Salome said everyone in that room would drink some that night. Dieter, bless him, tried to speak up. Halfway through his speech, Russell calmly undid the button on his jacket and took off Dieter’s head. “May Lilith forgive me,” he said, after kicking an organ into a pool of blood. Suddenly, Cougar Town’s Barb, the child-killer vampire, and Steve Newlin were ready to drink.
Salome passed the bottle around. Drinking off their hands seemed oddly unceremonious. Bill asked Eric if they were really going to do this, and Eric said it’s just vampire blood, they’re vampires, it wouldn’t do anything to them. Cut to them all walking down what I assume was a street in New Orleans, looking like a pack of college freshman on ecstasy on their way to a frat party off campus. After harassing a cabbie, Bill hopped on Eric’s back for a piggyback ride. Comedy. It felt kinda “Band Candy” to me.
NEXT: Russell sings