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True Blood recap: 'I know I'm a vampire, Snooki'

Sookie gains a roommate, and Jason officially turns stud

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John P. Johnson/HBO

True Blood

TV Show
Current Status:
On Hiatus
run date:
Stephen Moyer, Anna Paquin
Sci-fi and Fantasy, Drama

We’ve seen a lot of twisted things on this show. That sex scene between Bill and Lorena last season comes to mind. But watching the young women of Hot Shot line up to have their way with a bound, drugged Jason ranks right up there among the most disturbing. “Poor Jason” was trending on Twitter even before that reveal. Let’s start there…

Through a fireside chat, we got to hear the lore of the werepanther. Long ago, panthers were king of the natural world. “Sky people” came and turned humans against nature, but two humans, “ghost mama” and “ghost daddy,” went to the woods, got a full moon, and said, “Mighty panther, we don’t want to live in the man world, we want to live with you — in our skins, not in a dream.” And so the panther ate the man and the woman, who soaked up its magic while they were in its belly. The panther puked them up (whole or in pieces not specified), and on the next full moon, they turned into panthers. There aren’t a lot of panthers left today because of inbreeding because nature is pissed at them for letting humans fight her. Young Timbo said nature would be smarter if she turned on man instead of the werepanthers. It would have been easy for the writers to add a line about how she has (tornadoes, floods), but I like that they didn’t: Let’s pretend there’s a chance that nature is on their side.

I also liked how the writers kept Jason’s cellphone on his hip — the werepanthers may be smart enough to tie his hands up so he can’t answer it, but they wouldn’t be smart enough to remove it from his body and hide it just incase. After listening to Jason’s greeting — if it’s an emergency, you can call 911 and ask for him (those operators have nothing else to do in Bon Temps?) — Andy left him a message telling him he needed his help. How are you feeling about this Andy-is-a-V-addict story line? I’m a fan of the character and want to see him get more screen time, but I also need the payoff to come quick. We saw Andy raise his gun on Sam when Andy thought he might be getting suspicious of his behavior. Will Andy’s temper lead to his death? Who will he attack that he shouldn’t?

Eventually, Crystal gave Jason what he thought was medicine — instead it was Mexican Viagra — and told him that his search for his purpose in life was over: He’s going to save her people from going extinct as their new “ghost daddy.” When Jason came to again, Crystal was on top of him. In her mind, once she and the young girls lined up in the room raped him and became pregnant, she and Jason could be together. In his mind, he wished he’d never met Crystal. Yes, Jason was known as the stud of Bon Temps, but being turned into a werepanther and forced to father children in a town called Hot Shot (how poetic!) isn’t just old-fashioned karma. How does he recover from that? The Rambo-eque Jason from earlier seasons would turn on them when he’s finally freed. But could the Jason who’d been looking after these people for a year — and who may still feel a connection to them if werepanthers are loyal pack members like werewolves — take mercy on them? (Is there any chance Jason won’t get the ladies of Hot Shot pregnant? Crystal assumed it was Felton shooting blanks. Maybe the women have trouble conceiving. Or, perhaps the reason Jason doesn’t already have a child in this world is because he’s sterile? Lame, right? Someone has to become pregnant…)

NEXT: Eric moves in.