John P. Johnson/HBO
Shaunna Murphy
August 29, 2011 at 08:12 AM EDT

True Blood

TV Show
Current Status
On Hiatus
run date
Stephen Moyer, Anna Paquin
Sci-fi and Fantasy, Drama

While King Bill plotted their forthcoming demise, the good wiccans at the  hurricane Irene refugee center Moon Goddess Emporium plotted their escape in Mantonia’s absence. The always beleaguered Tara seemed to be ready to throw in the towel, but Holly hit just the right sweet spot when she convinced her to channel her inner pissed off powerful female to hit the spellbooks and fight. “We are strong, angry women, Tara,” she said. That is definitely the way to convince Tara Thorton to fight. Good job, Holly!

Just then, Antonia/Marnie showed up with her entourage of Wiccans and enchanted vampires alike. Mantonia was clearly disturbed by the Festival’s events, and she started doing this creepy Gollum thing where the two separate but connected beings inside of her started arguing with each other for control. Until now it had always seemed that Antonia was 100 percent in charge, so the whole spectacle served as tonight’s biggest eye-opener. Marnie might not be the harmless, passive old witch we thought we were dealing with.

When Tara and Holly snuck away from the group to debate the necessity of the Latin language in modern spellcasting, they decided to beat Mantonia at her own game by reversing her hand-burning, Moon Goddess Emporium protection spell. Mantonia did some sneaking off of her own — she left her entranced subjects behind when Antonia forcibly removed herself from Marnie to throw in the towel after the Festival’s brutality. Antonia, as it turns out, was a healer who only took up necromancy to save her fellow villagers from fever. The whole vampire thing was just an unfortunate by-product! Marnie then became as specist and pig-headed as Fiona Shaw’s Harry Potter character Petunia Dursley, and re-convinced Antonia that all of the vampires, no matter how sexy they may be, must die. Marnie was in control the whole time, she just needed Antonia’s power to set the whole thing in motion.

Back at Jason’s shaggin’ wagon, the simpler Stackhouse and his new bedmate Jessica discussed the repercussions of their actions. Jason regretfully ruminated on the important role his life-long friend Hoyt has played in his life, while Jessica angrily defended their actions. Jason said what everyone else is thinking when he acknowledged vampire blood’s role in his seduction, but I still felt bad for Jessica when he suggested that she glamour him into forgetting the whole thing. After getting thrown out of Hoyt’s and Jason’s homes respectively, this post-coital slight broke the camel’s back. “F–king humans,” she said. “I’m going to go find somebody to eat.”

While Jessica hunted for blood, Hoyt decided to visit Jason the morning after for the sort of frank discussion best friends have in the days following a painful breakup. Over a morning beer, Hoyt told Jason about the emptiness he had been feeling in Jessica’s absence and the torturous smells she left behind, and Jason managed to avoid any eye contact when Hoyt literally started to cry and asked Jason for a place to crash. Jason, out of sorts and full of guilt, headed to Sookie’s place to eat her bacon and bitch about Hoyt’s drunken flatulence, but the impending Tara dilemma managed to distract both Stackhouse siblings from their out of control undead love lives. Finally!

NEXT: Showdown at the Emporium.

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