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True Blood recap: Fang Me Gently With a Chainsaw

Sookie and Bill reconcile as Eric makes his move against Russell

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True Blood 3

True Blood

TV Show
Current Status:
On Hiatus
run date:
Stephen Moyer, Anna Paquin
Sci-fi and Fantasy, Drama

There was a moment during this episode — when Eric slowly removed his shirt for Talbot — that I became so engrossed in what was happening onscreen that I forgot there was a MacBook Pro balancing on my lap. When I reached to grab a pillow to beat my bed with (the physical response I have to the rush received when a TV show gives me something that’s even better than I imagined), my laptop nearly fell to the hardwood floor. Fortunately, I caught it, or a Best Buy Geek Squad Agent would be checking to see if ”dropped when owner was distracted by vampire homoeroticism” was covered by my warranty. I was almost afraid to rewind. But of course I did.

Let’s go for some foreplay and start at the beginning. Bill and Sookie had a tearful goodbye at the hospital. She wasn’t sure how to start forgiving him for nearly killing her; he wants her to have that normal life she’s been waiting for them to start, and he knows he can’t ever give it to her. The camera panning down the IV Bill had used to save Sookie and pulled from his wrist was a nice touch. Did it symbolize the end of their affair? Was it a nod to the fact that this relationship had seen so much blood spilled that it was only right that some drop on the floor when it was over? Or were those drops a sign that we hadn’t seen the last of Bill and Sookie as a couple?

Russell arrived home with his bride, Sophie Anne, in tow. While she was upstairs complaining about the size of her room, Talbot let Russell know he wasn’t excited to have another houseguest, even if control of Louisiana came with her. ”Franklin’s brains won’t wash off the guest linens, I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo, and that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I’ve had enough excitement, thank you,” he quipped. Watching the scene again, I can’t believe I didn’t predict Talbot’s fate when Eric overheard Russell attempt to sooth him by saying, ”At least you’re safe. That’s what matters most to me.”

Eric, still wearing that blue cashmere V-neck sweater we’ve grown to love so much, informed Russell that a werebitch (Debbie) was waiting in the study to see him. She wanted permission to rip off the heads of those who killed Coot, and Eric urged Russell to consider the value of the heads in question. Yes, Sookie is special, Russell agreed. ”She f—ed my ex-boyfriend and made him shoot my fiancée. She’s a c—,” Debbie argued. ”But she’s a special c—,” Russell said. His compromise: Debbie could play with Sookie before he brought her in.

NEXT: What every man wants to hear