You may have hated Lorena, but if True Blood is for you, you loved her death. Bill’s maker made a classic talk-too-much-when-you-should-just-kill-the-person mistake, and paused while draining Sookie to tell her that she was delicious —and to ask the question we still haven’t officially answered, ”What are you?” Sookie’s response: ”I’m the bitch that’s gonna kill you.” While Lorena laughed, Bill used his last strength to sneak up behind her and wrap a silver chain around her neck. He pulled her to the ground on top of him and motioned for Sookie to get one of the stakes conveniently piled nearby. Bill told Sookie ”do it,” and Lorena stopped fighting. ”William, I love you,” she said, and in her mind, she was probably comforted to be dying in Bill’s arms. ”You wouldn’t know love if it kicked you in the fangs,” Sookie shouted, and plunged the stake through Lorena’s heart. Lorena erupted like a geyser. Blood shot out of her mouth until she was nothing but a puddle on Bill. It was right up there with the bloodbath Sookie received during Longshadow’s death. Well done.
Tara and Alcide drove around in his truck and burst into the room as Sookie looked for the key in the pile of Lorena to uncuff Bill. Tara thought Bill was dead, but Sookie told her that when a vampire dies it looks like Lorena (or, a bloody intestine). Tara barely had time to register that Franklin would still be alive — hooray! — before Sookie had her and Alcide helping to wrap Bill in a tarp so they could move him. Good thing, too, because when Debbie entered, she left the door open.
After a brief cutaway to Sam trying to talk his way into the dogfights (perhaps if he would’ve torn off the sleeves of his shirt, he’d have fit in better?), we were back with the rescue attempt. Alcide thought Debbie would never use the gun she was holding, but it didn’t take Sookie’s telepathy to know that he was wrong. We found out that Debbie really had loved Alcide, but he refused to give her a child. He didn’t want to bring another of their kind into the world. A tortured soul makes him even hotter… While Alcide continued to talk to Debbie, Tara told Sookie via her thoughts to distract Debbie so she could attack her. Reluctantly, Sookie screamed and Tara pounced. She knocked the gun out of her hands, and Alcide got it. Cue Coot’s entrance and Alcide shooting him twice. Props to the makeup department for the wound on the back of Grant Bowler’s head. A moment of silence, please, as we remember his naked torso (and what he described as his ”love scene” with Stephen Moyer).
NEXT: God bless the Louisiana heat