“I do feel like they made the wrong decision. But there’s nothing I can do. It’s out of my hands. There’s wrong decisions in football games, you know what I mean? Barry Sanders runs the ball, the guy grabs the back of his jersey. The refs didn’t see it, but all the fans saw it, so everybody’s booing. You know what I mean? The ref makes the final call, and there’s nothing you can do.”
So were the final words of last night’s ousted contestant, Daniel. And really, we should just call him Tutankhamun, because that man is the king of de Nile. Yep, since our loud-talking, theatrical, semi-obnoxious cheftestant delivered a weak bridal shower-inspired dish — and was unable to recognize that he did — Padma & Co., sent him packing. And I have to say, I’m not really booing. Based on his not-so-refined palate, and his sneak mushroom attack of Carla’s salad, he really deserved to go. Of course, that doesn’t mean he accepts it. In fact, Daniel is so deep in denial, I’d bet he’s still in the Top Chef kitchen to this day, pulling knives and allowing himself to be judged by a Tom Colicchio-shaped gourd. But…HOOTIE-HOO! Oh, sorry. Just making sure I didn’t lose any of you readers there.
Moving on, it looks like this season of Top Chef has a new couple, one that’s about as likely to hook up as the separately attached Hosea and Leah (who knew they had significant others?): Jamie and Stefan. Seems the latter has taken a liking to our lesbian chefette, and even gifted her with a stuffed animal with shorts hand-made from a potholder. (Do I smell a Project Runway challenge?) But it would take more than a stuffed animal to woo Jamie, Stefan. Slap a rainbow on those shorts, though, and you might have a chance.
Enough silly business. Time for one of my favorite Top Chef quickfire challenges: the palate test. The chefs had to pair up by drawing knives (Stefan drew the same number as Jamie, making him the happiest person to hold a knife since Michael Myers) and essentially played a foodie-inspired game of Name That Tune (Why must Top Chef insist on making me think of NTT alum Kathie Lee Gifford every week?). The contestants battled each other March Madness bracket-style to name the most ingredients in three different sauces: shrimp and lobster bouillabaisse, Thai green curry, and Mexican mole sauce. The most impressive cheftestant? Hosea, who guessed a whopping seven ingredients in Thai green curry — including the ultra-specific Thai basil and Thai chili — and ran away with the entire quickfire challenge. The least impressive? Carla, who made it all the way to the top three, only to get eliminated after curiously guessing peanut butter as Mexican mole sauce ingredient. Now, it’s true that mole sauce does have a bit of a sweet undercurrent, but peanut butter? That’s a bit of a stretch. (HOOTIE-HOO! You all still with me? Good).
NEXT: Daniel splooges all over his plate