Do y’all not like Amber? Sasha I get — she’s such a good singer, except that she has a not-good tendency to sing everything the same way (see also: Tucker, Holly; Bradbery, Danielle). But Amber? In this recapper’s humble opinion, she’s been the season’s most consistent performer, for reasons you can read here and here about, if not its biggest discovery (see also: Simmons, Sarah). But clearly I’m in the minority: Amber was eliminated tonight.
Let’s rewind. I have other questions for this week’s results hour, which consistently hammered home the theme that The Voice wants to make The Voice happen. And I like The Voice! It’s so fun! I do not really like all the old also-rans, who came back to sing variations on also-ran sounds. Do they all share a closet? They have such nice voices. Their songs are so bland. What are their names? Their names are Nicholas David, Tony Lucca, and Terry McDermott. McDermott was a runner-up last season even though his hair is Top 12, tops.
Who thinks what about Monday night’s performances? Blake says the Swon Brothers had their biggest night (true) and that Danielle will go to the finals (true); Shakira thinks Sasha “has progressed so much as an artist” (eh); Adam thinks that Amber killed it. Usher: “No one came with their B-game.” Carson: The Top 5 earned a record-breaking vote total and three artists were in the iTunes Top 10, earning vote multiples.
But before anyone can be saved, Fall Out Boy has to be announced, performing single “My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)” with Michelle. Well, it’s not really with Michelle. She mostly stands behind Patrick Stump’s elbow and makes energetic faces and sings backup vocals. Yeah yeah, the song — a middle-of-the-pack number from FOB’s latest album — isn’t super duet-able, and everyone does shake hands at the end, which is nice. But they spend three minutes not looking at each other, which isn’t. (A shot for uneven sound levels!)
Carson lies and says that we’re about to find out who America saved first, but first he has to check in with the coaches, who all really like their contestants. New information: Shakira is wearing a Kardashian ponytail (high and sleek) and Usher compares Michelle to medicine “for our country” (actual quote). Carson asks him if he’s surprised to have made it this far with Michelle, which is a) specific and b) weird. Usher isn’t! Then Carson asks Blake about “Amurica” and about how successful The Swons and Danielle are on iTunes this week. He’s clearly hoping Blake will be egotistic, waving his finger around like it’s made of gold. But he isn’t!
We’re one step closer to finding out who our first finalist is, but first…
NEXT: Nicholas and his scarf and his beard and his blazer