Things may be cooler in Voice-land tonight (oh y’all it was so hot last night, says Carson Daly/everyone) but they are no less bloody, continuing to dispatch wannabe singing stars with a speed that American Idol hasn’t come close to matching since its inaugural summer season. Another week, another batch cut.
Carson Daly reminds us that, “Last night, if it wasn’t hot enough [Ed. note: oh y’all so hot], the Top 12 lit up the stage with some incredible performances.” The show is breaking voting records and this week’s performances all charted on iTunes — something without precedent. But that won’t save two of our performers. Consolation: Robin Thicke will sing for and/or adjacent to several of you. Bonus: He will throw his sunglasses violently to the stage for you to steal!
Here’s how it shook out:
Carson introduces Robin Thicke to sing his latest single, “Blurred Lines,” which sounds so much catchier than its video would suggest. It helps that Pharrell carries the hook like a bouncing ball, making it easier for America to collectively avert our eyes from T.I.’s camo pants and vest. Hotlanta does not agree! Kris Thomas and Vedo are apparently also on stage, but they do so little that it’s a shock when the camera cuts to them. Did they know they were performing?
Before saving anyone, Carson talks to the coaches to talk about everyone. They love their teams! Usher is wearing a shirt! (One of these is a direct quote.) Adam says that his team has work to do while Shakira admits her lack of objectivity and then lies by saying that her team needed to shake things up in order to improve and then covers that lie with the truth: “Guys, I love you.” Blake is celebrating his anniversary to
better fellow country star Miranda Lambert and also blathering on about how “important” Danielle Bradberry is — not just to his team or to this season or to the country music industry but to the world. Usher is hopeful that America will make the right choices (foreshadowing).
It’s almost time to save two singers but first it’s time for the confessional. A rapid-fire: Michelle confesses that the clapper is too heavy; Kris is terrified of clowns; Vedo used to sing to help sell body oils; Sasha used to have a really strong New York accent; Judith has sung the word “farts” to children; Colton-of-the-Swons is not a germophobe, if anyone asks/Zach’s face is more than 50 percent rubber; Danielle is addicted to selfies; and Josiah owes his college hockey career to The Mighty Ducks.
NEXT: First there were two