NBC is collapsing: Jay Leno is having dinner with snakes; Matt Lauer is despised by large segments of the part of America that is awake at 7 a.m., and no one even cares anymore that Ryan Murphy really wants NeNe Leakes to be famous.
And then, from between her two wizard sleeves, came Shakira and a trio of other “industry giants.” The Voice is back, y’all — and the blind auditions start right now.
Welcome back to another season of song. Melissa Maerz, my colleague-in-song, joins next week for the rest of the season. What will our judging relationship be like? Which of us will be the “Adam”? Which of us will be the “Usher”? Anyhow, if your winter hiatus has been lacking in rotating chairs and/or Carson Daly, you’ll be happy to hear that both are still fully operational. And if you had nightmares about the ghost hands who herald the beginning of each week’s episode, then you’re out of luck.
With the start of the season, NBC took the chance to catch us all up on what The Voice is and who The Voice has been hanging out with since we last saw it and what new recipes The Voice is maybe going to try to cook for dinner this week. A recap: Blake Shelton and Adam Levine are both “champion coaches” (the word “coaches” heretofore interchangeable with judges because come on). And new additions Usher and Shakira have “over” 17 Grammys between them.
One of Blake’s favorite parts of the show? The click of a high heel.
One of Shakira’s favorite parts of the show? “There’s no prejudice. You’re just focused on the voice.” What? She’s right. (Haters to the left.)
There’s some snapshot footage of the contestants-to-come and some idle musings about the beneficent power of the show, including how great it is that the coaches are coaches first and judges maybe not at all. But why focus on any of them when Carson is teasing “one of the biggest surprises in Voice history”?
But first: the judges come together to play The Beatles’ “Come Together,” with the three men on instruments (Adam on drums, Blake and Usher on guitars) and Shakira quashing any irony with her sexy chortle.
Finally, Carson reminds us why we’re all here in the first place: “The blind auditions start right now.”
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