Welcome back for another night of Blind Auditions! As the coaches round out their teams, Cee Lo — dressed like the Michelin Man — informs us that he’s had a secret weapon all along: “unpredictability.” Meanwhile, Christina tries to explain the intricacies of what goes into choosing her team. “There are so many different elements that go into why we push our buttons.” She leaves it at that, though. What a woman of mystery!
First up is the Egyptian-born Sylvia Yacoub. “We don’t get as many opportunities just because we’re women,” she says of her home country. Her mother got her into singing, but was unable to become a singer herself because she never managed to get out of Egypt. Sylvia, on the other hand, had a father who insisted on bringing her to the States to follow/fulfill/pursue her dreams. (I estimate she says “dreams” eight times over the course of a minute and a half.) But, should this not work out, she’s got a backup plan: Law School.
Sylvia belts out Rihanna’s “Only Girl in the World.” It’s good, but not great. Christina’s hand hovers over the button throughout — she’s such a tease, that one. XTina finally pushes the big red button and Blake and Cee Lo quickly follow suit because heaven forbid they lose sight of her cleavage. Sylvia closes out her audition with a fist pump. Where’d she move, the Jersey Shore? (I live in Jersey, so I feel that this is fair to say.)
“That was so much fun. You got sassy at the end,” Christina proclaims, but I don’t hear the rest because I’m too busy staring at that black fan she’s sporting. I tune in again just in time to hear her make this excellent statement: “Musically, you and I probably have a lot in common. You’re a singer and I’m a singer.” STOP THE PRESSES! Blake offers up a simple analysis of her name. “That’s a country enough name.” Yes, nothing says Middle America like Yakoub. Cee Lo tries to speak and fails, so Adam does the gallant thing and screams “Stop it!” to the crowd. A hush descends as we wait for Cee Lo to speak. “I… felt like you were the only girl in the world.” Oh, I see what you did there, Cee Lo.
Sylvia’s flustered by all the attention. “I’m going to have to go with my heart here and I’m going to have to go with my girl Christina.” Because they’re both singers, you guys! “That’s good,” Christina says oddly threateningly. Meanwhile, Adam’s embarrassed he shushed the crowd for Cee Lo’s pitiful offering. “I’m not as eloquent always,” Cee Lo defends himself. “That was a genuine disappointment that she didn’t pick me.” I’d believe him if he didn’t have the emotion of the Terminator. No, scratch that. The Terminator has more emotion.
NEXT: A boy leaves his father behind for a chance at stardom