We finally know the answer to the mystery! No, not the mystery of whom Caroline’s fiance is. Or what made Damon and Alaric enemies. Or where Alaric’s TWINS came from. And, no, not whom the mysterious vampire huntress is. Or where Bonnie is three years from now. None of those mysteries are solved.
But! We know why Damon drinks bourbon — and that’s a step in the direction of solving all these mysteries. (He was saving a bottle of wine for Katherine and then decided it would never taste as good as he imagined. Apparently it had nothing to do with the fact that he lives in the South and everyone just drinks bourbon.)
Season 7 is setting up a lot of mysteries, most of them in flash-forwards, but it’s giving us a way to theorize about TVD in a way we haven’t in a long time. So let’s get to it!
Alaric is still 100 percent focused on raising his wife from the dead. The morgue guy he’s been paying off says today is the last day for Jo to stay there. Bonnie needs to use the Phoenix stone now or never. Lucky for everyone, Damon finds Oscar’s desiccated body — which will make a perfect test subject.
Damon has a vested interest in Oscar coming back to life because Lily knows he went after him. However, she doesn’t know that Valerie killed him. And she will only give back Elena’s casket if he trades Oscar.
Lily might not have figured out what Valerie did, but Enzo knows something is up. After being cast out of “family business” yet again, he decides to do something about it. He tracks down the only cop left in Mystic Falls: Matt Donovan in full-on police gear now. He asks him to see the town’s security footage. When he sees that Valerie stole a car and left town, he confronts her (and brings an unconscious sexy nurse as a gift, how sweet). She spills — off camera — everything she knows about Julian, whom Enzo has never heard of.
Meanwhile, Lily isn’t waiting around for Damon to drop off Oscar. She sends her minions Mary Louise and Nora to find him. They find Damon staying at university housing (still the nicest university digs I’ve ever seen, aside from the sorority house on Scream Queens). They give Damon an incentive for returning Oscar quickly: For every hour their heretic brother isn’t returned, a Whitmore student will die.
Stefan has the genius idea to get Nora and Mary Lou to attend the Whitmore Halloween dance “as a distraction.” A few insults from Caroline later, and the femme fatales are forcing their way into the party as a slutty angel and an old-fashioned devil. Nora is fitting in well in 2015 — she understands Pinterest and overusing the word “obviously,” but Mary Lou is struggling. She’s not used to being affectionate in public (“Try being gay in 1900”).
Angel Caroline, who apparently had already planned on attending the party, is on patrol duty with Stefan. They’re pretty good at it — Stefan saves three lives — until they get into an argument about Valerie. Caroline wants him to ask her to undo the vervain-as-skin spell, but she’s also nervous that if he talks to Valerie, he’ll fall for his first love again. During this spat, Nora and Mary Lou escape.
NEXT: Stefan and Caroline, you had ONE job