Scandal, lies, and salacious video footage. Nope, you’re not reading The Bachelor recap — but if you want scoop on the season finale of The Royals, then you’ve come to the right place. Wrapping up nine episodes of crazy drama leading up to the all-important matter of figuring out who killed King Simon, the night saw everyone basically go out of their mind and act out of character: Helena was inspired, Eleanor’s resolute, Liam was rage-y, and Cyrus was weirdly parental.
“The Serpent That Did Sting Thy Father’s Life” began with a flashback to the moment Robert’s plane was shot down before shifting to a scene of a young, cutie-pie prince playing in the palace in the moments before the twins were born. Turns out Queen Helena — standing in the great room and showing off plenty of cleavage as per the usual — is reminiscing about the good old days. Things might never be the same again, and given how our girl isn’t prone to regrets, you know things have gotten really screwed up. Which begs the question: Did we miss something?
Turns out, yeah, we did. The episode flashes to 36 hours earlier, where Liam — fresh off the revelation that Pryce killed the king — goes into Jasper’s creepy little closet to review the incriminating footage. Seeing Jasper’s claim substantiated makes him eager for revenge, but before he can seek it out, Jasper locks him inside. Saving him from himself (okay Jasper, I see you trying to be a nice person).
In another area of the palace, Helena — looking luscious in a sea foam green dress and a killer diamond lavaliere — approaches Cyrus with a peace offering, a stuffed tiger that was used to belong to Prince Robert. Though Helena is trying to make peace, Cyrus is in full-on creep mode as he basically reiterates his plan to remove her as queen by marrying Prudence. Still, Helena doesn’t rise to his snobbery. “Fighting got me nowhere,” she says. “Rather, it got me here, to this place.”
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Meanwhile, Liam’s told Eleanor, who’s feeling freshly resolute about finally moving on after Jasper, the truth about the night their dad was murdered. On hearing Pryce’s name, Eleanor instantly crumbles into a sad heap of sequins. Liam tries to be all manly and resolute though, saying that he has a plan. There’s just one thing: The plan involves Jasper. “I know you have trust issues, I know people have failed you, including Jasper, but he wouldn’t stop until he found the truth,” he says. “And he did.”
NEXT: This s— is b-a-n-a-n-a-s