So, what do you guys think of the possibility that our little Liam could one day be king of England? Sure, he has a thing for models and bottles, but no one can deny he has a heart for the people and a desire to do right by his father’s saintly legacy. All things considered, though, could this be enough to make our prince into a king?
Judging by the events that unfolded this evening, it sure seems like it. “Be All My Sins Remembered” kicks off with Cyrus — who’s turned to drugs and alcohol to try and dull is pain somewhat after Violet’s disappearance — confronting Helena about his dearest maid. Of course, the scene in Helena’s bedroom — with our regal queen in a royally spotless nightgown, natch — gets dramatic, and crazy-looking Cyrus brandishes a sword about. Just as I was about to clutch my (imaginary) pearls, though, in comes Duchy, who saves her daughter by crashing a porcelain urn over Cyrus’ head, rendering him unconscious. Call me crazy, but I prefer Cyrus knocked out — he’s definitely less creepy that way.
While names are being called and things are being thrown about Real Housewives-style, Liam and Eleanor are having a powwow of sorts and trying to wrap their heads around the fact that their mother might have murdered Dominique. “I want to find out whether Mum’s an assassin. and I want to do it now,” Liam says, adding that he’s been up all night and is in a “horrible mood.” Poor prince, amirite? Eleanor takes it upon herself to do some investigating since she and her mother had a “really good day” during her birthday. Determined to give Helena the benefit of the doubt, Eleanor makes her way over to the queen’s quarters.
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Of course, Helena’s not about to reveal that King Cyrus is lying unconscious, sprawled on her bed — ’cause that’s just plain shady — and in the hallway, Eleanor asks her mum a pretty simple question. “Who’s that girl?” she asks Helena, showing her the photo of she, the King and Dominique the day of the horse-riding competition all those years ago. “I don’t recall,” replies Helena. “Just some girl.”
Well, that answers that. “You were right,” Eleanor tells Liam moments later. “The bitch did it.” It’s not like Helena was tried in a court of law, but one thing’s obvious: The queen is lying through her royal teeth. “Let me know when you want to confront our murderous mother, won’t you?” Eleanor says, before retreating to presumably snort, crush, or inject something.
Of course, this is prime-time drama, so said confrontation takes place mere minutes later. “She was thrown from her horse,” says Helena, when asked how Dominique died. “I’m telling you the truth.” But Eleanor and Liam press her a bit further. “Admit you did it.”
Helena doesn’t say a single word, but you know who does? The Duchess. (Cue the gasps and shocked, surprise faces here.)
“I did it, and you two spoiled brats should thank me for it.” Turns out that dearest Duchy has a deadly secret or two, revealing that her velvet-gloved hand isn’t above poisoning an innocent girl for the sake of nabbing the crown for her daughter.
“Do you think that monarchies just happen? Do you think that queens just happen? Because they don’t.” Well, if you say so, Duchy.
The truth weighs heavily on Helena, who realizes that the twins are crushed by their grandmother’s revelation. Their entire existence is a lie, couched in secrets and bloodshed. And with this news, it seems they bear an additional burden by way of a decision: Should they tell the truth and lose their beloved Duchy to prison, or should they keep her secret?
“Maybe dad was right; maybe we should just end it,” Liam says to Eleanor, referring to the monarchy. “People will vote for the referendum.”
The subject of the people comes up again when Dominique’s niece visits the palace, where Liam tells her that, yes, a member of his family murdered her aunt. This segues into a tour of sorts, with Liam showing her the portrait of his father and then his bedroom.
“Will you show the world what you’re showing me?” she asks. “And if not the world, then at least my dad.” Her plan? To share a candid video of him talking about his fam-bam on social media. Liam loves this idea — he is a millennial, after all — and proceeds to share that the England’s monarchy, just like others in many countries, has been shaped by murder, secret plots, and lots of violence. Within seconds, the video gets thousands of views, and the #KingLiam hashtag is born. Seems like Liam’s candid and frank reflections on his family could very well pave the way for the public calling to make him King.
NEXT: Seems like Cyrus has an ace up his sleeve
Meanwhile, Helena has some unfortunate news for the Duchess: She’s taking away her title, staff, and royal allowance, For a biddy who loves her bling, this is a seriously dour prospect. Although the Duchess raises her doubts that her daughter would really strip her of her royal trappings, Cyrus doesn’t — and says as much when he enters the room, fresh off some intel that the Duchess poisoned Violet in order to make it easier for Helena to become the reigning monarch. Sad as Violet’s murder is, Cyrus isn’t entirely crushed and plates up some revenge served piping hot. Although he did love Violet, he wasn’t planning to marry her: He had proposed to the mother of his son, the heir to the throne.
“Congratulations,” Cyrus tells the Duchess with a particularly toothy grin. “You killed the wrong maid, bitch.”
Although things might never be the same between Helena and her mother, the day’s events seem to have brought Eleanor and the queen closer than ever. I know it sounds crazy, but upon closer scrutiny, it makes sense: Pain doesn’t distinguish between royals and the people, and both Eleanor and Helena have gone through the wringer recently. During a scene on a palace balcony, Eleanor offers her mother her old diamond earrings — the ones recovered by Jasper from her ex-girlfriend — an act that warrants an apology from Helena. Could the truth about a death decades ago help bring these two together at long last?
Of course, the episode doesn’t end on a warm and fuzzy note, when Pryce — who’s been seeing apparitions of his dead wife all night — fishes out a video camera from a flower bouquet in the palace. Who placed it there? What kind of footage is on it? And whose side is Pryce really on? Remember, he’s been recently accused of having murdered the king, and as we found out from his dead wife’s ghost, he had something to do with her murder — meaning that squeaky-clean Pryce has a shady past of his own. One thing’s for sure: Although we learned the truth about Dominique’s murder in “Be All My Sins Remembered,” there are plenty of other secrets being kept by those living in the palace.
Liz’s best lines:
“You just told me, Breaking Bad.”
“I’m taking away your title, staff, and your royal stipend. It’s either that, or you’ll be wearing orange for the rest of your days. Orange, mother, with no accessories.”
Real-life royal reference score: 2 (Don’t you think even Queen Elizabeth would cough up the truth if it meant her super-sized bling would be taken away from her? No royal’s resistance is that good. Also, Eleanor wore a T-shirt with the words “Friends Forever,” which I feel is something that Britain’s Princess Beatrice totally would wear because she’s not allowed to share her real feelings with the world, obvi.)