The Royals is nothing if over-the-top, salacious, and sexy fun. The show is at its best when we see Helena purse her lips while scheming with Cyrus, Eleanor pushes aside the pipe to stand up for herself and quite frankly, when everyone goes behind one another’s backs in the ultimate game of monarchical chess. A lot of fans agreed that last week’s episode was the best to date—Helena slapping Cyrus was a seriously good moment—and though “In My Heart There Was a Kind of Fighting” had a lot to live up to, there were plenty of twists and turns when it came to the matter of who would wear the crown as regent.
The episode began with Liam drowning his sorrows in a few pints at the pub. He’s watching a press conference that confirms the ugly truth: He and Eleanor aren’t King Simon’s children. He’s totally upset by the news—I mean, that quivering upper lip thing was really excellent acting from William Moseley—and empties another pint before making the decision to dunk his cell phone in a beer. Despite having double-digit calls and texts from Ophelia (See? She really, really cares people!), he’s just not in the mood. Bartender, another!
Eleanor’s taking a slightly less passive approach to the news that she’s a royal bastard. She marches over to Helena’s office (if you call the room where you scheme and plot a mere office), and demands an explanation. “Explain what?” Helena asks incredulously. “That you and Cyrus fixed this whole thing!” retorts Eleanor, who adds injury to insult by shredding pillow after pillow with her bare hands. (No, really.) Helena puts on her best poker face while Eleanor throws out a killer accusation. “I’ve been up all night thinking about it,” she says. “I walked the streets my father walked and somewhere in the middle of the night, it all made perfect sense. The paternity test. The king’s attack. Robert’s death. Did you kill Robert mum?”
This is a pretty solid theory, for which Eleanor deserves some credit. Though it’s been clear from the first episode that Robert was Helena’s favorite child, it’s just as obvious that Helena would do anything—anything—to protect the monarchy. Could she have had predicted Simon’s plans for a referendum, and then had Robert killed off as a way to kick-start a takeover? Maybe she thought she wouldn’t be able to control him as she would Liam; maybe all the sick events that have transpired since—including declaring her twins illegitimate—have been part of a larger plan.
But Helena denies it. “No one killed Robert. Because Robert killed himself. He committed suicide. Now, you tell me. Does that make you feel better me say it out loud?” With that, Helena decides to shred a pillow. (Total pillow kill count: 3)
Oh heavens. While Liam continues to drink at the pub—during which he indulges in drunk-singing “I Can’t Wait To Be King” and has suds-soaked hallucinations that his father is with him at the pub, poor guy—Cyrus is being sworn in as sovereign. And oh, he also informs Pryce that he wants to do away with Liam and Eleanor’s security detail. “They are not successors to the throne and as such, do not merit or deserve protestation. Not to mention the cost. Is it any wonder I’m running low on cognac?”
NEXT: Could our Ice Queen be experiencing a thaw?