Part of the appeal of being a princess is the fantasy of living in a fairy tale ending with a happily ever after. (Complete with a closet full of Cinderella-style sparkly stilettos.) And in this week’s episode of The Royals, two ordinary girls had their taste of the fairy tale—with very surprising results.
But first, Queen Helena’s annual costume ball. Every good fairy tale includes a big bash and this episode was no different. Eleanor enlisted Ophelia’s help in choosing an outfit from a rack full of overpriced couture (“The perks of being a princess”) and while the two thumbed through dozens of dresses, they discussed Ophelia’s failed attempt to get Liam’s attention. Ophelia pretends she’s sorta over it, but as Eleanor puts it, “the bitch doth protest.”
Though Ophelia doesn’t know it, Liam’s equally lovesick. These poor kids—it seems like Instagram has totally ruined their lives. Liam plans to get over his heartache with an upcoming getaway to Monaco. Ashok has planned the whole thing at the “sickest nine bedroom villa at the Cote d’Azur.” (Sounds fun—can I come?) In any case, with the prospect of a vacation, Liam’s in a bit of a lighter mood, and even more so after some hits from Eleanor’s bong. “We need this to survive mother tonight, especially since dad’s away,” she says.
And off to the ball they go, where Ophelia’s waiting for Nick. She’s wearing a Swan Lake-style gown with a full ruffled skirt—how pretty, pretty princess of her!—when Nick arrives. He says he’s speechless over how “beautiful” she looks, but manages to spit out something about he knows the games that got him invited to the ball (Instagram! Jealousy!) but hopes he has a chance with Ophelia anyway.
Meanwhile, this is the Queen’s ball—enough with the early 20s angst, already—and Helena makes a royal entrance on a Cleopatra-style recliner hoisted by four shirtless hotties. She’s looking particularly gorgeous, probably because just minutes earlier in the episode, she had pulled off some secret sexy time with Captain Lacey at a spa with the help of her trusty bodyguard Lucius and a look-a-like body double to throw off the rest of her retinue. Sometimes a girl needs more than a facial to get that special glow, ya know?
In any case, Helena disappears moments after her grand entrance. As she predicted, no one misses her. Gemma is requesting shots—Ashok proposes they try a round of “flaming Lamborghinis”—and no sooner than Nick and Ophelia have danced than she’s brought him over to meet Liam. Awkward. Or at least, it would be but Nick and Liam actually seem to like each other. Ahem. And Gemma, oh, Gemma. As much as we may not want to like her, girlfriend is smart. She asks to waltz with Nick so that Liam can have a moment alone with Ophelia. “The sooner you realize she’s really nothing special, the sooner you can come back to me,” Gemma tells him.
NEXT: Ophelia gives Liam a piece of her mind