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The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: Miami Spice

Things get real out of hand real fast when Kenya tries to tell Glen that he doesn’t have to go home, but he’s gotta get the heck out of here.

Posted on

Bravo

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
seasons:
7
run date:
10/07/08
broadcaster:
Bravo
genre:
Reality TV

Oh lawd. There is nothing worse in the RHOA world than having to defend Kenya Moore, but let me be upfront: defending Kenya Moore is exactly what’s going to be happening here.

One of the most frustrating things about Kenya as a character — no, not how she keeps trying to make twirl happen; and no, not the clips of Life Twirls On that we get to see, those are actually too few and far between — is that she seems like she could be a pretty intelligent and logical person outside of this show. But within the show she just wants to hold onto that peach so badly that she will literally stir any pot of s— that the producers ask her to (included but not limited to actual human feces, I’m sure).

So color me frustrated that when the most sensible cast member in the bunch decides to take up her “Kenya is a troublemaker” mantle, it’s on the occasion that Kenya was rightfully concerned about an unstable situation with a man that eventually got violent. Ugh. Ugh. JUST ALL THE UGHS. What happened?!

Now, that’s not to say that his episode was bad — it was actually one of the more structurally entertaining and unpredictable episodes in a while. There were — I swear to you — real, live human laughs that didn’t sound like they originated in a dusty tin can, found video footage that was genuinely spooky, and a dude almost eating it on a Baja shelf while trying to get at Porsha in a pool. That’s entertainment! Unfortunately the inciting incident for all of this mayhem was GlenGate, which went so much more off the rails than I ever imagined it would.

As we saw last week, on the boat from the Miami club back to the ladies’ house, everyone is hammered and bringing dudes back to the house. Never has anything good ever come from someone saying, “Let’s play Never Have I Ever!” The bad that comes out of this particular round is that I found out the subject of my future nightmares: Sheree and Porsha drinking to the fact that they’ve both taken part in a “golden shower.” The slightly less bad thing is that Kenya tries to get Glen’s attention by snapping at him and he mutters “damn sure you ain’t snap at me.” I thought from last week that this is where everything would start going south, but Kenya doesn’t take offense, and keeps it pretty light.

Glen’s little comments keep coming once everyone is at the house though, and we see him try to cop an attitude with Kandi, a pregnant woman, when she doesn’t give him exactly the kind of attention that he wants. Hm, Glen, perhaps that’s because you are a strange young man who has entered the home of this sleepy pregnant woman without any of her friends thinking to tell her in advance? Kim and Kandi look onto the scene of their totally lit friends (or totally “niiiice” friends, as Kim thinks the kids say) like your two favorite gossiping aunties, and agree that Glen is acting odd. About the time he starts calling everyone “bitch asses” in the hot tub, Kenya decides it’s time to take some action. She thinks he’s being weird and aggressive and pulls Tammy aside to tell her she thinks her nephew needs to leave. Unfortunately, TamTam is ka-slammered beyond recognition, but she still says that’s no problem and kind of tells Glen and friend it’s time to go.

Now this is where things go way downhill, way too fast, and apparently where a few of the women thought Kenya mishandled herself. On the way out, Glen asks Kenya what’s up and she tells him that he was making the women uncomfortable. Now, it probably would have been in the better interest of self-preservation if she had just told him everyone was ready to go to bed, but it’s not like she just walked up and started pointing fingers at him like we’ve seen her do eight other times this season. It’s definitely not like she did anything to warrant what came next: Glen starts charging toward Kenya calling her a “little bitch” over and over, Tammy tries to get in front of him and calm him down as security runs over, and then he straight-up knocks Tammy to the ground — HIS AUNT. I actually gasped. That image of Tammy and her Miley Cyrus face looking completely knocked out was awful.

NEXT: Kandi dabbles in iPhone cinematography…