It’s been a Real Housewives of Orange County season for the history books! Vicki was thisclose to making Cancer-gate a distant memory and if it wasn’t for her new pal with the loose lips Kelly Dodd, she may have been successful! From the ‘70s party “set up” to the accident in Glammis Dunes … IVF, a vow renewal, and Tamra’s newfound voice of reason (when she’s not stirring up the pot or showing off that rock hard ass), the highs were high and the lows were traumatizing. So, as we just scratch the surface during the first reunion episode, here are the highlights:
- Ever the sleuth, Andy gets Vicki to admit that she got an “eye job” and that she even managed to sneak away to get them fixed during filming.
- Cancer-gate comes up almost immediately to which Vicki reveals she wishes she could have been more “Megan-ish” with the whole situation. Allow me to define “Megan-ish”: to be investigative, to need facts, to not allow one’s self to be conned.
- Vicki is looking forward to the day she goes to heaven so she can be reunited with Brooks and all her exes. This is too existential for a reunion — and Heather says what we’re all thinking… do ya really think Brooks is gonna be there?
- But there’s some sort of divine intervention as Vicki admits on the couch that she was wrong about Brooks and everyone was right … but that doesn’t stop Shannon from still steadfastly believing that Vicki lied and was in on Cancer-gate.
- Vicki thinks The Real Housewives of Orange County is 100 percent HER show. Apparently she got a promotion that even Andy Cohen didn’t know about. Um, congrats?
- The logic of Kelly Dodd in a nutshell: calling Tamra a “dumb f— is justified. But, Tamra screaming at Kelly after talking about her custody battle with her daughter is not cool.
- Heather figured out a way to incorporate her unused embryos into the artwork of the new mansion. I’ll let your imagination run wild with that — it’s more fun that way.
- Kelly regrets how she spoke about her controlling, narcissistic husband. But the way she got drunk and berated the ladies? Not so much.
- Tamra does not have a PhD in psychology — so therefore she cannot have an opinion on the bizarre world we now live in where Kelly is re-infatuated with her narcissistic husband!
- Shannon did NOT throw her ‘70s party to set up Kelly. But jury is out if perhaps she DID throw it as a way to get her fill of gossip on Kelly?
- Kelly read the reunion rulebook and nowhere does it say you have to fight fair — so she’s not.
- Shannon is unofficially an advocate for scorned wives everywhere, which means she gets to shame Kelly for possibly dating a married man while separated from her husband. Of course Shannon has been in touch with the possibly scorned wife … that’s some impressive sleuthing there Shannon, but WHY DO YOU CARE?
And that’s where we leave it until next week … is it me or was this barely a warm-up?