This week, we open at Shannon “Lemon Bowl” Beador’s weird astrological party where Tamra Judge is still on the warpath about Bricki. Tamra’s also still trying to find an audience to care about anything she’s saying. Womp, womp. Heather Dubrow thinks it’s time for a heart-to-heart with Vicki Gunvalson about her possibly-lying boyfriend. “I have always supported Brooks,” Heather begins before admitting she’s talked smack but not without good reason.
Back at Tamra’s gym, Heather revealed she was treated by Brooks’ doctor…for cellulite. She finds it fishy that a doctor who does cellulite treatments would also cure cancer, so she’s wondering if Brooks is being duped. (Nice of Heather to give Brooks the benefit of the doubt here.) Heather makes her position on the matter crystal clear: “Every piece of info that floats out is hinky. Who is lying?” Vicki tries to mount a defense, but fails miserably when she says Brooks is going to start chemo again. “No, what was said was this [cellulite] doctor cured his own cancer in six months and Brooks will do the same,” recalls Heather. Vicki protests; a flashback proves Heather correct. “If Brooks is ill, show his labs and say eff you to everyone.” Heather’s pragmatism is so on point and makes sense to everyone except Bricki. “I’m not showing anyone his medical records,” Vicki sniffs. Vicki, this whole cancer storyline is going to be your downfall.
Shannon makes a sad Shannon announcement as Eddie lights the Aries cake. Bricki wants to leave, probably because people are getting too close to the truth. “When is enough enough? You’re feeding a monster that is never going to get full,” Vicki tells us during a talking head. “So I show the medical records. Then they’ll want to see the needle going into Brooks’ arm.” Nah, I’m sure some legit medical records would be enough to appease everyone, though if you have footage of Brooks with a doctor, couldn’t hurt to show it, too. And I mean a real doctor; not some whackjob who advises you to only sit on chairs made of wheatgrass or eat tofu upside down, while humming the national anthem, for 72 hours straight or something.
Bricki leaves, prompting Heather to question why Vicki would leave if she has nothing to hide. Meghan King Edmonds sits all the ladies down and outs Vicki for lying about asking Shannon for medical help. “I’m a lot of things,” Lemon Bowl says, “but I am not a liar. I spent a day on the phone getting him two good doctors that he didn’t see.” Heather recaps her convo with Vicki. There are now nearly more flashbacks that current footage, given all the statements that are being referenced and then refuted. After Heather’s summary, talk shifts to not whether Brooks is lying — it’s assumed he is — but whether Vicki is a partner to these lies or she’s also being duped. ShanShan thinks she’s too smart and would have to be in on it, but Tamra and Heather are not sure.
Meghan and step-daughter Hayley go to a store called Havoc to get Hayley a prom dress. Meghan and her latest ugly headband tell us how important prom was for her, then we hear about how Meghan rented a school bus and cabins and made a spreadsheet to organize an afterparty. Meggers “thought my role was to be the uber stepmom and set rules and whatnot. But after seeing how that affected my relationship with Hayley, I’m not sure this is the right thing to do.” So your step-daughter froze you out when you tried to impart order and now you’re going to try and be besties. Got it. Hayley has a mother and she has friends, Meghan. You’re going to have to keep trying to find a suitable role in her life. This portion of the show ends with both looking at a Chanel dress and going, “Okaaaay” with the same intonation. Sounds about right.
Tamra goes over to see Vicki and apologizes. Vicki also apologizes, but not really. She just wants to take the heat off Brooks, who is somewhere upstairs watching football and hiding from Tamra. Vicki’s ulterior motive du jour is to hammer home that Tamra needs to backchannel the other housewives to get off brooks’ back already! “I mean, what does Brooks need to do? Die to prove everyone wrong?” Nah, just produce some medical records. Haven’t you been paying attention, Fun Bus? Vicki calls Meghan “a 30-year old,” which makes Vicki sound more old, petty and jealous than she already did. Vicki also uses the phrases “you’re not my friend if” and “cookoo birds” and continues to generally be a dumb human about all of this.
NEXT: Heather and Terry Dubrow quarrel! Over glasses of champers!!