April 19, 2017 at 10:00 PM EDT

The Real Housewives of New York City

TV Show
Reality TV
run date
Current Status
In Season

This week’s RHONY was basically one really long dinner. Or at least that was the only thing of note. This season is moving slooooooowly. Someone better catch Tom in another situation or host a bats— crazy bra party soon.

So Sonja claims she’s over the Dorinda/Berkshires situation and the Luann/Tom engagement but clearly she is not. She tells Tinsley one thing, but then she seems to be gossiping about those folks to the press (she’s apparently done a lot of interviews for her “off-Broadway” show) and on Facebook. Thank God Sonja has Tinsley Mortimer in her life now. According to Sonja, Tinsley gives good advice and “really should be an ambassador.” ‘Scuse me? An ambassador? Hmmmm. To where? Like Tampa? Sure. Anywhere else? No. Then, the pair sit around and look at Sonja’s underwear. You know — ambassador-type stuff.

While Sonja is nominating Tinsley for the U.N., the rest of the gals are off in the Hamptons. Dorinda and Luann have dinner with her daughter, Victoria, and complain about Sonja. Dorinda produces a photo on her phone of Sonja being “doggy-styled” by a stripper at Luann’s bachelorette party. Dorinda is like not having it and is frankly not someone you wanna pick a fight with (more on that later).

Carole is staying with Bethenny for the weekend, obvs. The pair are both super stressed out, particularly Carole with the election, so they go see Bethenny’s acupuncturist, who is super buff. Carole is mostly concerned with some sort of fungus she has on her toes and doesn’t seem to understand that this dude wants nothing to do with that. Bethenny then gets some cupping done, which I had no idea involves flames! Did everyone else know this? That does not seem pleasant or safe. Bethenny, though, isn’t worried about looking rough: She thinks whatever Luann did last night will have her looking equally as rough. Friendship is so fun!

So finally it’s time for this big dinner, which I feel took up at least half the running time of this episode. Upon arriving, Bethenny immediately pegs the owner as someone Luann will probably be “blowing” by midnight. Friendship! Ramona arrives first and comes in hot, having just landed from Avery’s sorority weekend. Apparently all of Avery’s friends consider Ramona more another gal pal than a mom. Um, I’d like to see the receipts on that. She shows Carole and Bethenny a photo of her with Avery. Bethenny doesn’t bother to say how beautiful they both look, which Ramona finds appalling. Apparently that’s how one should always regard photos of Ramona. “Oh how beautiful you are!”

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