The more I think about it, the more I love this season of RHONY. And we’re only two episodes in. But boy are we off to a jazzy start. I hope everyone from RHOBH is watching this and taking notes. You need to throw bra parties and you need to throw fits. Pay attention, Eileen Davidson.
So we start the episode in Jules’ oddly artless apartment. Did they, like, just move in? Or is this a fake apartment? It just does not feel very lived in. Basically, her life comes down to cooking for her husband and negotiating (not very well) with her children. It is not a life that I envy.
We cut to Bethenny buying jewelry for herself at the same place I believe Bethenny bought her wedding ring. Bad mojo alert! Like, she’d be better off going to Zales. She invites Dorinda and Carole to swing by and, I guess, stare at her while she spends inordinate amounts of Skinnygirl money. Dorinda immediately starts talking about John and how great he is and how they have great sex. Bethenny (and the audience) shuts down emotionally.
Then, they talk about how fun the new single Ramona is, but Bethenny admits that she’s still a little wary because Ramona has burned her before. Dorinda, though, says that in 20 years Ramona has never done anything bad to her. This is basically the Real Housewives equivalent of summoning the Candyman. If you say something has never happened, IT. WILL. HAPPEN. Or if you say Ramona’s name three times, you’ll get gutted.
The Sonja and Luann living-together sitcom continues as they sit down for a meal in her kitchen. So far, though, there haven’t been as many high jinks as I would have liked. Luann talks about not being friends with Carol and still not really being over the whole Adam thing. If ever there were a story line as tiresome as Munchausen, it might be this Luann-Carole-Adam battle. Oh, but we do learn that Sonja burns sage in her kitchen to get rid of demons. Can we please get this on camera?
Bethenny and Carole then have lunch and also talk about the whole Luann thing. Carole just never wants to see her again, which is going to prove challenging since YOU STAR ON A REALITY SHOW WITH HER. But Bethenny says Lu was real cray cray over the summer in the Hamptons. Like, she would call Bethenny to see if they were hanging out and then text her things like, “Don’t be uncool.” Someone is getting a little too comfortable with that slogan. Countess, you already got a single out of this — let it go.
NEXT: Dorinda’s bra party