Now, I’ve been MIA for the past couple of weeks from recapping RHONY. But when in the hell did everyone start dressing like they were in soft core sci-fi flick airing on Cinemax at 3 a.m.? Sooooo many bad metallics. Like the Countess’ outfit is Le Crazy. And Heather is just wearing a robe. That is a ROBE with a bra. That is not something you wear to the Edison Ballroom. Unless you live in the Edison Ballroom and have just been awakened from your slumber.
Okay since this entire reunion is basically a recap anyway, I’ve decided to just hit on bullet points that need to be discussed below in comments.
- Luann calls it “The Turks & Caicos” much like Wilford Brimley used to call it “The Diabetes” in those old commercials
- I appreciate the fact that Luann finally owned up to doing that toast and saying she wanted to “take down” Bethenny. I hope this toast occurred at Bootique.
- I started loving Dorinda after her trip to London with Carole, but I don’t like her so much at the reunion. She was really mean to both Heather and Kristen.
- Bethenny is the winner of this reunion. Everyone listened to her. She has yet to cry. And she’s only screamed a few times. Also her bob and her pants are adorable.
- That footage of Luann going to the bathroom with the young dude at Buuutik has been shown I think 10 times since this reunion began.
- Carole has never been with a woman, but she and Bethenny apparently slept in the same bed on a boat for 10 days. I love that they just dropped this like we all vacation on boats on the regular.
- I do agree with Bethenny that the Countess was way cooler this year. That is until she showed up looking like the hostess at a Mars nudie bar.
- I don’t think Carole takes cabs, so I don’t believe the drivers ask her about Luann. She rides on Adam’s bicycle handlebars obvs.
- Ramona’s revelations about Mario are really really sad. But Mario called Luann “countless”? Like what does that even mean? I feel like they think it means something it doesn’t.
- Ramona comes clean about having a boob job because she didn’t want to wear a brassiere anymore. First of all, I feel like no one says brassiere. Second, I don’t understand this logic. But I also don’t understand boobs.
- This dress story should become the next Lifetime unauthorized movie. I would watch about 10 more hours of them debating why Ramona shouldn’t have taken the dress.