Guys, Luann is in a really good place right now. No, I don’t mean spiritually or physically. Those are fine. I mean location-wise SHE IS CRUSHING IT. She has a new house in Sag Harbor. This new single lady abode was the locale for a lot of the drama on the latest installment of The Real Housewives of New York City.
We opened with Heather and Carole sharing a car and heading out to Luann’s. Carole had her pillow ready to sleep, but Heather was all “Holla” and “Let’s talk” so no sleepy for Radzi. Carole did say that Luann’s new house seemed “to fit her lifestyle better.” I’m assuming that meant there was an auto-tune enhanced recording studio and a display case for statement jewelry.
Meanwhile, Ramona and Dorinda were already en route to Singer’s house. Ramona and Dorinda are really close friends so naturally Dorinda has Never. Been. To. This. House. Dorinda gets the nicest guest room, and Ramona delivers fresh flowers and pinot grigio to her guests, obvs. It’s during this time that Dorinda reveals her dark secret: She summers in the Berkshires! You know that wooded place Ramona hated going to last season? Remember when she was choppered outta there by her good pal after having a weird panic attack amongst the trees? Ramona has bigger problems though: She’s having trouble getting on a deeper level with Sonja. Um duh.
Needing to streamline her life, Luann hosts an estate sale at her old Hamptons house, which draws out a lot of old, white-haired ladies in jean jackets. Items include a giant-sized martini glass and a Warhol-esque portrait of Luann, which she of course takes home, along with a cowboy hat and light up sunglasses. She has her priorities in check. It’s at the estate sale—more specifically Luann’s home bar area—where Ramona decides to formally apologize to the Countess for throwing shade on her marriage. It actually feels fairly sincere aside from the fact that there are like four cameras on them and producers sitting outside in a production van watching this heartfelt moment. Luann keeps pretty stone-faced. She can forgive, but she can’t forget. She also can’t attend an event with a bare neck. #gobigjewelsorgohome
While this is all happening in Long Island, Bethenny is back in Manhattan still homeless. Well, not homeless actually but living in a five-star hotel and “corporate housing.” Apparently, there are zero apartments available to rent in the city. But Bethenny can rent one for her office? None of this makes sense. Also, she’s a total back seat driver.
Sonja finally arrives at Ramona’s house and meets Dorinda for the first time. They discuss the Berkshires and Sonja reveals she often goes up there for “healing energy work.” I just kept thinking about Sonja touching one of those globes that had electricity beams inside of them from the ‘80s. Dorinda had a fairly accurate portrayal of Sonja: “She’s Mary Poppins meets Zsa Zsa Gabor.”
NEXT: The Sag Harbor soiree is a train wreck—obviously