If you thought this season of RHOBH was slow, just wait until you get to this middle installment of the three-part reunion. Bravo could practically teach a Ph.D. course in the beating of metaphorical dead horses at this point with star professor Dr. Lisa Rinna at the helm, earning her tenure over and over again. “Here’s what ya do, kids,” she’d say with a smoker’s rasp you’d never noticed before. “You pick three points, and you stick to ’em, no matter how many times Andy Cohen looks at you like you just got your ass waxed on national television. If ya know what’s good for ya, you’ve already pulled that move a few times, anyway. Next step — employ the F-word at every turn! This will show that you’re passionate…and everyone knows if you’re screaming, you must be telling the truth. And finally, channel your audience’s thoughts and then say them yourself, so they start to think that they’re the crazy ones…”
“You just talk around and around until everybody goes f—ing crazy! Just own it, Lisa! F—ing own it! Own it, and be done with it!” —I kid you not, Lisa Rinna, not speaking into a mirror.
This installment of RHOBH’s season 6 reunion spends about the first third focusing on Rinna saying once more that LVP encouraged her to say the word Munchausen, but it’s just a case of she said, she said louder, and the most exciting thing that happens is catching another glimpse of Daisy the Health Advocate when Yolanda runs offstage. So rather than covering that in detail, I’d like to offer you up a drinking game to play next week if it turns out to be anything like this week’s installment. Normal take-a-sip rules apply, but for obvious sensitivity reasons, I’d also like to suggest the option do a jumping jack if you’re not a drinker and/or don’t want Lisa Rinna to get all up in your business. I, myself, will be using only Housewives-branded alcoholic beverages.
Drink or do a jumping jack every time:
- Kyle bugs her eyes out in shock to something very un-shocking
- Kyle adjusts her hair or dress (maybe do this one every other time… I don’t want you to die)
- You look at Kyle and try but fail to remember the full name of her boutique
- Lisa Rinna screams something that you feel the need to scream right back at her through your flatscreen (I’ll give you an example: “I really want to move on; what is the big deal?!)
- LVP looks très innocent while being called manipulative
- Yolanda defends someone
- Someone gets asked if they’re okay in a whispered aside
- Andy asks Kathryn about her hearing device, and you’re reminded that was one of this season’s story lines
- You look at Erika and wonder if she had her pores surgically removed (how much that cost Mr. Girardi?)
- You fall into the deep dark hole of one of Eileen’s lowlights that only alcohol can you get out of
Alright, now that you’re trashed and/or energized, let’s hit the rest of what happened.
NEXT: Rinna’s being “a little Marco Rubio”