As we asserted last week on the first installment of the Season 8 RHOA reunion, quite simply, everyone is wrong all the time. My very favorite part of the reunion has become listening to Andy Cohen read the incredibly negative viewer questions. No one is ever like, “Love the way you’re doing you, Cynthia, how do you keep your skin so tight?” And that’s because there is almost nothing positive to say after the season we’ve made it through. Maybe, like, “Hey, Phaedra, congrats on only acting like you were going to hit Kenya with your pocketbook and not actually following through with it,” or, “Seems like you didn’t totally biff it on BROT-way, good on ya, Nene.” But those are still a stretch.
Within the confines of the reunion, Nene is openly admitting that she’s wrong and everyone else is right, but what she doesn’t realize is that in her childish retort, she’s discrediting herself even further because she’s wrong about everyone else being right. Because everyone is wrong, not just Nene. All the time. You follow?
Normally, I would say, “everyone is wrong, especially Nene,” but tonight, the poorest “rich bitch” in ATL gives everyone else the floor for a few minutes before she stars screaming, “IT AIN’T [BLEEP]ING INNOCENT BISH!”—she really has evolved—and in those minutes everyone manages to say Just. The. Most. Ridiculous. Stuff. Cynthia continues to assert that she never cared if Phaedra cheated on Apollo, she was just being a pal and giving her the opportunity to shut down the rumor—the rumor she was spreading while elatedly discovering that there are cheeses with fruit on the inside (no one tell her about fruit-on-the bottom yogurt, OK, that’ll save some excitement for next season)—in front of all of their most hated co-workers. Kenya and Phaedra both once again manage to defend Apollo in order to continue their own feud. And Porsha is just there, loudly… and that is wrong.
So, it seems only fitting for this middling episode, which ends in a double whammy of—hold onto your extensions—flirting allegations, that we incorporate some kind of ranking system to take us through the evening. In honor of Apollo’s ever-looming presence, I’m thinking, Arguments: Least Likely to Most Likely to Hold Up in Court…
(Not) Doing It for the Children
I think we can go ahead and agree that even in an hour filled with cheating allegations, Cynthia’s weave, and listening to Peter say, “I seed it,” hearing that Nene didn’t pay the $20,000 she promised to Detroit Public Schools and then trying to blame it on Kenya for making it into a joke by actually paying the $20,000 is hands-down the most terrible thing that happened, and any judge would lock her in some Game of Thrones dungeons for not just admitting that she did a bad thing, but that she can make it better at any given time by paying the children their damn money.
A brief recap: At Nene’s urging, she and Kenya both bet each other that they would donate $20,000 to Detroit Public Schools at last year’s reunion. Kenya donated the money and posted it on social media. Nene did not donate the money, tells Andy she’ll do it when she’s ready, says Kenya is making a mockery of the gesture by publicly following through on a charitable bet that was made in public, and then goes on to mockingly say that she’s poor and “has no jobs.” Get it to-damn-gether, Nene.
Last week, Andy asked the women who was using their platform from this show to do the most good and, my goodness, if it’s Kenya, everyone needs to lady up.
NEXT: The husbands come out, adjust your Peter filters accordingly…