The best way to sum up how Real Housewives of Atlanta reunions go is that when one woman accuses another of having her butt hanging out at the beach, that woman can come right back with a matching accusation about the other having her own butt hanging out at a charity event. Everyone is literally and figuratively showing their ass all the time on this show.
As these three-part reunions usually go, the first installment wasn’t particularly explosive, but after last year’s damaging blow up, that’s fine with me. It seems to be fine with Porsha, too, who is totally cool with physical attacks as long as they’re deserved. That’s Porsha who isn’t even a cast member on this show, and yet at least two of the other women’s story lines basically revolve around her. Claudia said at one point that she doesn’t know what Porsha’s talents are, but I’d wager that she’s excellent at staying relevant in the special circle of hell that is the Real Housewives franchise.
As it turns out, despite refraining from yanking each other’s hair this year, everyone hates each other about exactly as much as they did a year ago. Phaedra is still calling Kenya a whore, Kenya is still telling everyone they should apologize to her, Nene still thinks she’s above everyone, Cynthia is still arriving with prepared comebacks that Peter helped her think up last night, and so on. The only difference is there’s a new housewife this year and the awkward silence that comes with a live taping of seven women who don’t talk to each other and only a fleet of makeup artists as audience is somehow even more palpable in the even more cavernous room they’re using. Also, this year Bravo thought they’d be cute and make a little fake commercial for an RHOA Wig Collection, except it was very confusing because it’s frankly unbelievable that they haven’t been trying to squeeze more dimes out of this thing.
And that small moment of confusion was about as interesting as it got on the RHOA Reunion, Part One.
The Nene Treatment
Now that Nene has been on BROT-way, she’s seeming very demure. Since she’s probably not allowed to just walk out of the reunion (and still get paid)—her confrontation avoidance style of choice this season—she’s decided to just say, “You’re right; I’m wrong” every time one of the other women tries to talk to her. While I understand this tactic because everyone sitting on that stage is going to change her mind about anything no matter what anyone says to her, but I also find it incredibly annoying. Like, Nene screaming, “OKAY, I’M THE PROBLEM. OKAY, I’M THE PROBLEM” will be haunting my dreams tonight. She only really engages once to inquire when Kandi started hating her so much, and Kandi tells Nene that she doesn’t hate her, but she does hate her “superior stank ass attitude.” She’s right, Nene’s wrong.
NEXT: The Real Role Models of Atlanta…