Here’s a surefire way to tell if someone isn’t over something. They’ll tell you how “over it” they are. Also, a good test for knowing if something is bothering someone: They’ll tell you that they can’t be bothered by it. Now, I get that Nene can’t be bothered with Claudia trying to have a dramatic conversation with her while they’re at a philanthropy function for young men. But in the big picture, she has to be bothered with it. Because the moment Nene finds enough fame and money beyond this Andy Cohen pyramid scheme called The Real Housewives, you better believe she would stop being bothered, but for now, she can’t keep walking away from all of her storylines problems.
And yet, tonight, you better believe exiting the kitchen while Claudia tried to force her to talk about leaving the Dr. Jeff session—or who the hell knows what, at this point—while they were supposed to be focusing on serving underserved kids, was the right decision. It’s amazing how quickly you can bounce around to thinking who is wrong and who’s right on this show. That’s generally because everyone is wrong all the time, but occasionally someone is so wrong it makes someone else seem right. You can pretty much count on Nene being terrible all the time, but Claudia trying to start drama while Judge Mathis was out there just trying to tell a few kids that they’re our future and eat some chicken was just enough more offensive to edge Nene off her throne of ridiculousness.
I have to keep faith that if everyone on the show is always losing, then in some way we, the audience, must be winning. But it doesn’t feel like I’m unable to finish my dinner because I had to hear Peter say, “Give me some pum pum.’ When it starts to feel like there’s no one left to root for, I’m really only left with questions. So, here are the questions that presented themselves tonight while I took in the aftermath of what RHOA has become since everyone but Nene made peace, made up, and made butthole jokes in the Philippines.
Could Kandi really possibly think that now is a good time to have a child, one year into her marriage, and 10 months into its rocky period?
I like Todd. I mostly like Kandi. I would like for Todd and Kandi to work out. But Todd and Kandi don’t seem to particularly like each other anymore. After casually discussing how dead their sex life is with any friend-ployee who will listen to her, Kandi heads to date night with Todd, as prescribed in their last therapy session. Todd has been in L.A. for the past two weeks and meets her straight from the airport at the restaurant where he tells her that since his show has been picked up for a second season, he’s going to have to spend even more time there. Kandi doesn’t think they should be apart for more than two weeks, and Todd tells her that she should come to L.A. with him. Kandi reminds Todd that she has a human life she’s in charge of in Atlanta in the form of Riley.
And then, naturally, they talk about having a baby, because if anything can be garnered from this conversation, it’s that these are two people who are on the same page about their lives and futures and should permanently bind them together with new human life. (To be fair to Todd, he’s not so sure about this).
How many people could I get to sign a petition to never actually have to see Kenya’s show, but just have a 10-hour “making of” documentary released in its stead?
I enjoy every second of watching Life Twirls On become a reality. Even if it involves pausing the TV and taking deep gulps of air before I can go on listening to Cynthia’s Jamaican accent, every part of this circus is a delight. Tonight, Cynthia gets Peter to help her master her Jamaican accent and I have a brief moment where my life flashes before my eyes because I enjoyed listening to Peter talk. But he pretty much immediately started talking about Cynthia’s vagina, so it was short lived. Cynthia actually sounds okay when she’s affecting Peter’s more natural accent, but as soon as she shows up to set with Kenya, it turns back into a disaster. I’m using “set” loosely here, of course—they’re kind of just in a room/shop without any obvious purpose and Cynthia doesn’t seem to be aware that they’d be filming that day. But she gets a big round of applause, and I just can’t wait to see all the humor she infuses into the pilot. Because if there’s anything Cynthia is known for, it’s her quick wit and originality.
NEXT: A servant’s heart, a drama queen’s mouth…