As they say in the great state of Georgia: Y’ALL. I’m very nervous! I think I might be — steel yourself — enjoying this season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Now, given, I enjoy every season with that sort of stunned disbelief that can only come from watching a grown woman in a nightie made of handkerchiefs throwing a pajama party for a bunch of other grown people that starts off seeming like a scene from Eyes Wide Shut ends up being like Bad Boys.
Yes, it provides a specific type of hide-behind-the-throw-pillow enjoyment. But the angle that the editors and producers seems to be taking in this show’s eighth season is a little less shock-factor and a little more willing to embrace the monster that they’ve created. They put Kenya Moore into this world, and, damn it, if they want to mock her for implying that she’s “made it” in “Hollywood,” or thinking she “owns a home” that isn’t “falling apart” and probably the “scene of violent crime,” then that is what they’re going to do. And I thank them for it.
I also thank them for Kim Fields. I have but one simple question: WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE??? Let me provide you with a few analogies to help understand why I’m so confused: Kim Fields is to Kenya as Roger Bobb is to Tyler Perry; Kim Fields is to Porsha as NPR is to…whatever the hell Porsha hosts on Dish Nation; Kim Fields is to Kandi — actually, you know what, I’ve never really understood what Kandi is doing on this show either. But Kandi seems more down to clown (and drink a moscato and Hi-C Fruit Punch cocktail) than Tootie. How will this lovely, accomplished, professional woman insert herself into situations like…
Cynthia’s eyewear launch/pool party, where the episode picks back up. Porsha, who’s never met Sheree, is keeping her from throwing her drink at Kenya and using the resulting glass shards to either create a lovely mosaic for Chateau Sheree or maybe murder Kenya. Porsha says she’s never seen someone go from zero to 100 so fast — Porsha, the woman who had an rage blackout and dragged Kenya to the floor two seasons ago, thinks Sheree turns up fast. Kandi tells Sheree that Kenya just seems to inspire that kind of response in people.
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But from new “Housewife” Kim, Kenya is just inspiring some good old-fashioned eye-bugging at all the crazy she’s spewing when she goes to Kim’s office to see if they can do a little collaboratin’. Luckily we don’t get any fake introduction for Kim where someone tries to act like they’ve been secret besties for years; we all know this is RHOA’s last-ditch effort to survive the NeNe apocalypse. And it might just work! Kim is nice enough not to laugh in Kenya’s face when she walks into Kim’s real-life office where Kim is working on real-life projects and saying things like, “You know, Hollywood has been good to us” — us! — but not so fake as to pretend like she’d ever have anything to do with Life Twirls On — a thing that Kenya is under the impression still exists.
**ALERT, ALERT** We’ve got our first mention of The Blogs. Cynthia’s business partner tells Cynthia that “everybody is still talking about [the eyewear launch]. Blogs. Media.” Cynthia’s like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, business partner, I’m sure you’d like to crunch some rhinestone-aviator numbers, but instead, let’s talk about my philandering husband and how he spends all his time at a Charlotte sports bar bought with my hard-earned money and then comes home once a week smelling like pulled-pork nachos and Bath & Body Works Vanilla Bean body mist.” Never go into business with Cynthia.
NEXT: Porsha’s totally normal party…