Well, there’s just not a lot to say about that one, is there? And especially after catching a glimpse of NeNe, NeNe’s teeth, and NeNe’s ice-skater poncho in the “Next Time On,” it’s hard to think of much else. Let’s see…I think in this episode I remember Cynthia casually asking her teenage daughter for advice on her crumbling marriage; I think Mama Joyce threatened to end Phaedra’s life shortly before asking her for baby shower tips; and at some point, I’m pretty sure Porsha was dipping cheese cubes in caramel and eating them. It’s just so hard to recall!
The thing is, this hour was all about family, and as it always is with family dynamics, the feelings are complicated. I mean, I get that Porsha might be jealous of her younger sister’s pregnancy and not know how to deal with those feelings, but she’s still acting like a selfish apple-monster maniac about it. And I understand that Kenya’s situation with her mother must be so hard and that the absence has likely haunted her for most of her life, but one would think that might make her less inclined to involve the cameras and a luxury bus full of people in her final attempts to mend fences. One would think…
One might also think that on a show called The Real Housewives of Atlanta at least one Housewife might talk to another Housewife at some point during the hour…but one would be wrong. It was a weird one, folks! And not in small part because the hour started off in some bizarro world where Mama Joyce is just your average sweet old grandma in a suede mule made for chunkin’. Kandi has spent all her pregnancy time getting her businesses in order (and feeding her employees story lines), so she’s just now getting around to picking out everything she needs for the baby. Mama Joyce comes along to help pick out a crib, but they end up talking about Kandi’s falling out with Phaedra, and MJ resolves, “Maybe I need to talk to Phaedra.” Somewhere out there, an inexplicable chill just went down Phaedra’s spine.
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But there’s no reason to be scared. When Mama Joyce does show up at Phaedra’s office, all she does is lightly threaten her while burrowing into her soul with those dead-shark eyes: “I don’t want Kandi to have any, any problems. I would never want anyone to do anything to hurt her, or to cause her to be upset in any way because you know Mama Bear… You know me.” But imagine the voice of Voldemort saying that last bit. Mama Joyce somehow manages to never separate her top and bottom teeth for the entirety of that monologue, but Phaedra still gets the message — resolve this mess before you stress my daughter and her at-risk pregnancy out. And you know what, given the choice between Phaedra and Mama Joyce 2.0 (the version that’s able to touch Todd without hissing), I don’t really know who’s side to be on, so I’d just call this one a win, especially since Phaedra ultimately decided that she needs to be there for Kandi during her pregnancy like Kandi was for her.
Something tells me that after Kandi got ahold of Phaedra’s comments about her husband this season she was probably like, “Thanks, but no thanks.” In what is hopefully the last installment of Let’s Get Todd Paid If It Kills Us, Phaedra goes to Todd’s office to continue to act like only a poor, unemployed person would dare ask for the money they were promised to make in exchange for their professional services. Let’s continue to bear in mind that Phaedra is a lawyer. She says that even though she doesn’t intend to release the video (maybe she’s rethinking the polka dots?), she’ll pay Todd the final $8,000 because, “I’m not crying about a couple thousand dollars — I have jobs.” Really? It sure sounds like you’re crying about a couple thousand dollars in the form of NOT PAYING HIM FOR TWO YEARS.
NEXT: Mo’ money, mo’ pregnancy, mo’ problems…