The office was full of Christmas spirit last night (as well as alcoholic spirits), as the season of Santa is something the Dunder-Mifflin crew typically does quite well. Ed Helms, making his directorial debut, staged a Christmas party so impressively awkward, it would make anyone long for the days when the biggest holiday problem was Meredith drunkenly flashing the boss.
Andy-as-Santa was a little more cheerful than Michael Scott’s many go-rounds as the jolly fellow. He may not be the first office boss to don the red suit, but he was “the first office Santa ever to make holiday wishes come true.” He promised to grant Christmas wishes, and the gang had a whole host of demands. Meredith wanted Andy to be her designated driver. Safety first! Dwight no longer wanted to attend meetings that degrade his sense of adulthood. Dwight was still an employee of Dunder Mifflin Scranton, so that’s one wish that’s never going to happen. Andy did get Dwight a small piece of the moon — light side by sea of tranquility, natch — so he still left satisfied (that’s what she said.)
Stanley’s holiday wish was just some good ol’ plain baby Jesus lying in a manager Christmas. “I’ve been here 18 years and suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, A Pulp Fiction Christmas, A Muslim Christmas, A Moroccan Christmas, a Mo Rocca Christmas (Sidenote to the writers: This next year, please) I don’t want it.” Jim is really regretting those Lewis Black tickets he got Stanley for his birthday right now.
But what about Santa himself? Andy’s Christmas wish was that everyone got along with Jessica, his super serious girlfriend who is super sexy. Was anyone else hoping “Jessica” was leading towards a “my girlfriend who lives in Canada and isn’t real” situation for Andy? Because I totally thought that was where this was heading. Too bad for Erin, Jessica is quite real — and quite sexy.
Erin may be my MVP this episode. Turns out, she really uses holiday parties (See also: Halloween) to put her emotional drama on the table — or on the dance floor, as the case may be. She totally pulled off the incredible awkwardness, as well as the real pain, of meeting Andy’s new girlfriend at a holiday work party. Lucky for her, she had Kelly (Subtle Sexuality sisterhood!) on her side, and Kelly would totally be mean to Jessica if Erin wanted her to be. Kelly is an invaluable resource when it comes to high school girl politics — as long as she’s not distracted downloading fraudulent Kardashian links online.
I want to watch a spin-off of The Office where Kelly Kapoor takes me through celebrity news of the day — you know she was devastated by the Kardashian divorce. Ryan could regularly inadvertently guest star. I would become addicted to that show. I really need this to happen. Kelly was a woman after my own heart tonight between her lack of knowledge about Hindu customs (if it’s not Diwali, she’s not interested, apparently) and at the end, when she is mean to Jessica — “Did you just fart?” (To camera) That’s how it’s done.” The best girlfriend Ryan’s ever had was in fine form all evening.
NEXT: No more pranks for Dwight and Jim?