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Happy Holidays, my little binder clips, and welcome to your last Office recap of 2008. Tonight was no Yankee Swap, but they still totally brought it for the Christmas episode, making up for last week’s poopitude in spades. Let’s start things out with honesty time — raise your hand if you’ve set your hair on fire! My hand is so very, very raised! Other things I have set on fire: an oven, a bookshelf, several sweaters, my shoe, the sink in my high school dorm room. I know you will not judge me for these things. For what is Christmas, if not a time for sharing? Just call me Fire Girl. My horn can pierce the sky!
With Phyllis in charge of the holiday party, we got what was by far the most adventuresome theme yet: “Nights in Morocco.” This was not your grandmother’s Christmas party — unless, of course, she’s from Morocco — and several people were less than thrilled. Count in Stanley, who refused to wear his fez (“I will not be the big guy in the tiny hat,” he grumbled, even though Kevin had already claimed that literal and metaphorical crown), and Angela, of course. This was not just because she’d been blackmailed out of her post as party planning chair — Phyllis was also trying to rob her of everything a traditional Western Christmas has to offer, including her nativity scene and the tree. We could be here all night debating whether or not it’s officially blackmail if there’s not a formal letter involved, but Angela’s barely-internalized snit fit as Phyllis shoved all the non-African members of the nativity scene into a desk was priceless. “I am not going to judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas,” she responded. “There is one person who will, though, and Phyllis just stuffed him into a drawer.” Pa rum-pa-pum-pum!
Meanwhile, Dwight had cooked up what seemed to be a doomed moneymaking scheme: He’d purchased every remaining Princess Unicorn doll in town, in hopes that it would be the year’s hot toy and he could sell them at a huge profit to desperate parents. Princess Unicorn is ludicrous, you say? Um. Who wouldn’t want a half girl, half unicorn doll, even though it’s totally genetically improbable? Weird that Dwight can be such a social reject and yet have his finger directly on the pulse of pre-teen girl culture. And with the money he made selling those things to random walk-in businessmen tonight, I’d say he’s got more than enough to make up for the inevitable cancellation of the Andy/Angela wedding. Which we will get to later, because in an episode that was mostly a scattershot grab-bag of awesome punchlines, that story line got way, way advanced. And, might I add: Go Phyllis!
NEXT: It ain’t just a river in Egypt, Meredith