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The Office recap: The Terminators

Michael does a Dilbert, fake-firing Stanley, and Ryan does one, too, really putting Jim on probation

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Justin Lubin

The Office

TV Show
Current Status:

First off, I’m gonna thank y’all for the flogging you gave me two weeks ago over my comments about Jim and the ring. You’ll be happy to know that the new one you ripped me is working just fine, and after all the therapy and tequila shots in my eyes, I think I may get over it. Perhaps I deserved it — especially considering that after reading The Office blog I wrote, my boyfriend surreptitiously hopped the train to Zales in New Jersey to return the engagement diamond he’d spent one month’s salary on. Just kidding. No, seriously, I type this now through a mask of tears.

But I digress. Let us make some peace, okay? What if I promise to never, ever, mention Ricky Gervais again (or to mention not mentioning Ricky Gervais), to keep the actual recapping to a minimum, and to be so f—ing funny that Rodney Dangerfield retires in my honor. (Wait…that last bit doesn’t really work.) I just want you to know that I do love the show, a lot— but not unconditionally. That’s something I’m saving for my unborn children, my not-yet-adopted kittens, my grandma, and my fish. I will have an (albeit poorly formed) opinion once in a while. And as the saying goes, opinions are like arseholes, everybody’s got one (except for me, I now have two) and they all — say it with me now — stink. So on to last night’s show as I shake in trepidation. You guys are a tough crowd (kinda like Stanley).

If I had only a few words to describe it, I’d say this particular episode was about lashing out: Stanley at Michael, Dwight at Andy, Ryan and Toby at Jim. First off, Ryan’s Philadelphia Eagles joke? Not very funny. Isn’t there some rule about mocking another man’s losing team? Especially in the off-season? (Speaking of, did anyone notice Dwight’s Yankees mug? Maybe it’s made a previous appearance and I just picked up on it — our new HDTV is opening up all-new worlds of detail. My little bro tells me this has something to do with the Yankees Triple-A team playing near Scranton and that it goes along with Dwight’s Mike Lieberthal bobblehead. This is notsomething I would have figured out myself.)

Anyway, back to the point: We can assume Jim didn’t deserve a poor performance review from Ryan. Sure, he spends a lot of time bugging on Dwight and chatting up Pam, but he seems to be a good paper salesman (in real life, everybody knows that one person who never seems to be doing work but always seems to be getting it done). If Jim stunk at his job, he wouldn’t have been considered for the corporate position at the end of last year. So, Ryan is clearly picking on him. Is it because Jim criticized Dunder Mifflin Infinity to their superior, or is it because Ryan wanted Pam for himself? Or is it because Ryan is becoming so egomaniacal and mentally unhinged that he’s unfairly targeting Jim, someone who is much more well-adjusted, laid-back, better-suited for his job?

NEXT: Beets me