Remember how Danny agreed to tell Mindy about his impending nuptials? Well, he’s about to in the beginning of this episode — but he backs out last minute, instead deciding to tell her that her apartment is a mess and that’s the serious thing he had to talk to her about. Then he does a really smart thing: He leaves her apartment and throws the wedding invitation addressed to Mindy in the mailbox outside her door. That seems like a good idea, right? Telling your ex you’re about to get married by sending her an invite without any prior warning? Genius, Danny!
This isn’t the last we see of him, though. Later, Leo gets suspended from his Quaker school for biting a girl, so both his parents report to the principal to talk it out. There, they fight about where Leo got the biting gene from — Danny claims it’s all Mindy; Mindy reminds Danny what he used to do it to her nipples; it’s all delightfully uncomfortable — before Danny finally tries to bribe his son’s way out of suspension. It doesn’t work, partly because bribing isn’t an effective way to get what you want at a school (probably?), but also because he only offers $15. His reasoning is that educators make so little money anyway, so $15 is a lot to them. As you can see, Danny’s really outdoing himself in this season finale.
While all this drama’s going on, Jody’s trying to figure out how to apologize to Mindy for not telling her about the whole chlamydia thing. He’s tried everything so far, but she doesn’t want to hear it… probably because he wasn’t going to tell her he had an STD before they had sex and that isn’t the same as, like, showing up to dinner a few minutes late. And now she’s ready to head to Miami for a fun weekend with her girlfriends and forget all about him while marrying Ricky Martin, because that is obviously what you go to Miami to do. Never mind that he’s openly gay! There’s no hurdle Mindy can’t get past.
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So Jody has a plan to build her a walk-in closet while she’s in Florida because she’s been storing all her clothes in the office. Morgan helps him get in, and together, they wreak havoc on her home — no, really: They end up making a hole in her ceiling when Morgan accidentally rips out her decorative staircase. While this would inspire most people to simply fix their mistake, apologize to the upstairs neighbor, and give up on the walk-in closet, Jody isn’t deterred. No, he’s more motivated than ever. Not only does he apologize to the upstairs neighbor, but he also buys the upstairs neighbor’s apartment for Mindy so she and Leo can have all the room they want. It’s sweet, sure, but mostly crazy. Buying someone an apartment does not cancel out almost giving them chlamydia, dude!
NEXT: Mindy and Danny get stuck in an elevator [pagebreak]
But Mindy doesn’t make it to Miami, because she gets stuck in the elevator at the school with Danny. There, he tells her about some of his girlfriends he’s been with since their break-up — although he sneakily omits any mention of his, you know, fiancée. When she asks if he’s been in any serious relationships yet, his mind flashes to an image of meeting Sara. Then he starts making out with Mindy.
Is it hot? Duh. Is it a terrible idea? Again, duh. They have sex in the elevator, and he walks her home once they’re eventually freed. There, she tells him she loves him, and he returns the sentiment. Everything’s pointing to them getting back together — except for the fact that he’s engaged, and that he didn’t tell her, that Jody is waiting upstairs for her with a new apartment, and that the problems that broke them up are still problems. But otherwise, they’re totally getting back together. Right? Right?
Probably not: That wedding invite Danny sent to Mindy has finally arrived. She doesn’t see it when she gets inside because Jody’s there to greet her and surprise her with the new apartment. And he also kind of admits to being in love with her. So now Mindy has to make a choice between Jody and Danny. But we’re going to have to wait until next season to find out her answer.
“I was saving that dress for the funeral of an enemy! [Pauses] That’s who did this! Kelly Ripa! Kelly Ripa did it!” —Mindy
“He got suspended. Or he’s wearing suspenders. I didn’t write it down because my memory’s so good.” —Tamra
Danny: “What am I angry about?”
Mindy: “I don’t know. Your mom, your dad, me leaving you, your guilt-based religion, doping in baseball, Mayor DeBlasio…”
Danny: “All these teens just smoking dope right out in public. I never saw that under Giuliani, did you!?”
“If people were always worried about what seemed weird, we’d never know how delicious pigs’ feet were, would we?” —Jody
By the numbers:
Minutes Jody’s apology to Mindy will take: 30
Percent of Tamra’s body exposed by her cropped scrubs: 20
Amount Danny tries to bribe Leo’s school principal with: $15