If you have an STD, you tell the person you’re about to have sex with. It’s common courtesy, and Jody is a courteous guy — as well as a grown man, and a doctor — so he, of all people, should understand this, right? Right? Well, he doesn’t.
After last episode’s kiss, he breaks up with Courtney — who unfortunately thinks he’s about to propose when he’s actually planning to end things — and right after he does, she tells him he has chlamydia. So although he’s now emotionally available for Mindy, he wants to hold off on getting physical until he takes the medicine and the chlamydia disappears. And oh, yeah, he doesn’t want her to ever find out about it.
This presents a problem when Mindy proposes they go out the night he breaks up with Courtney. Knowing a date would likely end in sex, Jody asks they postpone for seven to 10 days — a.k.a. the amount of time it should take the medicine to get rid of the chlamydia. Mindy’s not having it, for two reasons: She wants sex and thinks waiting seven to 10 days for no apparent reason sounds ridiculous. So they go to dinner and have a lovely time; they give each other sweet looks and joke about Jody’s former pet goose. It’s all going well.
It’s still going well when they share another kiss at Mindy’s doorstep, but then Jody tries to run away. Mindy gets him to come inside, where he runs to the bathroom in an attempt to find a condom. When he discovers she doesn’t have any, he heads to the kitchen and tries to fashion a fake penis out of a banana and some plastic wrap. Oh, Jody. Jody, Jody, Jody. A banana and a penis are not the same, dude, no matter what your middle-school health teacher said.
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Then he looks in the freezer and finds a condom there. Hallelujah! They can have safe sex and now Mindy will never know about his STD! Except she already does: While Jody was trying to find a penis replacement, Morgan texted Mindy and told her about the chlamydia. And now she’s, rightly, pissed. Jody should have told her.
Courtney and chlamydia weren’t the only obstacles Jody had to overcome to date Mindy: He also had to get Danny’s permission. Remember when Danny stormed into the office a few episodes ago and forbid Jody from hooking up with Mindy? Well, Jody took that to heart. He’s a man who “takes honor seriously,” as Colette explains. So Morgan and Jeremy go off on an adventure to get Danny to change his mind.
NEXT: Greta Gerwig makes her Mindy debut
They find him at his new office, where they also meet his new girlfriend, Sarah (Greta Gerwig). Sarah’s freaked out when she hears Morgan and Jeremy telling Danny he needs to let Mindy go, and becomes even more frazzled when Danny describes his and Mindy’s relationship as “complicated” instead of just outright saying he’s over her. Sarah responds by dramatically breaking a vase (and then apologizing for it, because she really didn’t mean to), and later, she finds Morgan and Jeremy on the subway to tell them they need to introduce her to Mindy since Danny won’t tell her anything about her. Morgan loves meddling, so he makes her wish come true by introducing her to Mindy as a patient.
This almost goes horribly wrong when Mindy starts talking about her ex’s bedroom skills — she sometimes draws Danny’s penis just because she misses it so much — and Sarah briefly explodes that it’s not her penis to draw anymore. Instead of getting freaked out by this new patient being completely weird, Mindy’s just like, huh, you’re right! It’s not my penis! My penis is now Jody’s! (This is before she finds out that his penis is, you know, covered in chlamydia.)
So all in all, this sneaky meeting goes well. And then afterwards, Sarah lets it slide to Morgan that she and Danny are engaged. Morgan, again being a world-class meddler, goes to Dr. C. and insists he tell Mindy what’s going on. He’s actually pretty wise for a minute there, when he tells Danny he obviously hasn’t moved on from Mindy because he hasn’t even told her about Sarah. By the end of the conversation, Danny agrees to tell Mindy. This will surely go great.
“You tell me so many boring secrets. Like, I don’t care who your stupid birth father is!” —Mindy to Morgan
“I know I’m attracted to him. He’s old and handsome like Bob Dole. But he’s not dead, like I think Bob Dole might be.” —Mindy on Jody
“You’re like a villain in a health class movie.” —Tamra to Jody, after he says he’s not planning on telling Mindy about his chlamydia
“I’m in my 40s now. I don’t want a roller coaster. I don’t even want Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Maybe the Monorail. That’s good enough for me. I’ll just sit there, look out the window, watch other people have fun.” —Danny
By the numbers:
Days it takes chlamydia medicine to kick in: 7-10
Whiskies Jody drinks at dinner: 2
Whiskies Jody drinks before a jog: 2