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'The Mindy Project' recap: 'Fertility Bites'

Mindy takes a white lie about Danny too far, as she attempts to draw attention—and patients—to the Lahiri Fertility Clinic.

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Patrick McElhenney/Fox

The Mindy Project

type:
TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
tvpgr:
TV-14
seasons:
4
run date:
09/25/12
performer:
Mindy Kaling, Chris Messina, Ike Barinholtz
broadcaster:
Hulu
genre:
Comedy

Starting your own business can be a daunting task, as Mindy is learning while trying to jump-start her own fertility clinic, the Lahiri Fertility Center. “Building a business from the ground up is difficult,” Mindy opens. “From filing permits to picking the right Georgia O’Keeffe poster for your waiting room, the process can be overwhelming… Plus, ironically, burning the candle at both ends leaves almost no time for your personal flames.”

The list goes on. (I would be remiss if I didn’t mention another problem for Mindy: Other business pros being threatened by her success. Take Kris Jenner, for example, who makes a brief guest appearance.) The task is made even harder when Mindy’s business starts to pick up, because of a lie, causing both personal and professional problems.

Let’s backtrack. Mindy is moving forward with her fertility clinic, which is great, but she’s having a hard time getting started. She gets a subway ad, which has her with very blue, photoshopped eyes, talks her office into buying merch, and gets Danny to ask their co-workers to refer patients to her clinic at their meeting. She also invites the office to the Lahiri Fertility Center’s grand opening gala—dress code: risque red carpet—which will hopefully get the word out. In the meantime, though, she’s focusing on those referrals because she needs to land her first patient.

Morgan, Tamra, and Beverly run into problems of their own. They’re participating in a walk-a-thon for nurse obesity and want to raise $250,000. They ask the doctors to donate $50,000 to the cause, each, but are having a hard time gathering support because as Mindy puts it, they’re all “skinny as hell.” Morgan retorts that’s the case because they’re living in poverty. No one takes them seriously, of course, especially Adrian.

Morgan tells him the office has a family dynamic and he needs to get on board, but Adrian isn’t having it. He even takes Morgan’s bagel, which really pisses Morgan off. But it’s not just him. The entire support staff have a bone to pick with Adrian because he’s rude and cantankerous, and they demand that he’s fired. Jeremy defends Adrian saying he’s prickly, for sure, but he’s their best worker. But, Mindy sides with the support staff, arguing that they can’t have Adrian pissing off the nurses and others or else they’ll all quit. Their case is aided when Adrian comes back demanding one of the nurses make him a sandwich because he’s slammed. Jeremy agrees to talk to Adrian.

At the Lahiri Fertility Clinic, Mindy thinks she’s found her first patient, but when an elderly woman comes in, asking for help getting pregnant, Mindy thinks it’s a practical joke. (Was it?) So, she presses Danny even harder for referrals. He tries with a patient of his, but when she asks for Mindy’s qualifications, and he answers honestly—she doesn’t have any experience with fertility patients—the patient chooses a more established practice.

Mindy. Is. Pissed. Danny defends himself, saying he was being honest, and asks if Mindy expects him to lie. “I lie for you all the time,” Mindy fights back. “Remember when I told that cop that we were just two male friends wrestling?” Not the same thing at all, but very, very funny, so I’ll take it. Ultimately, Mindy is upset because she feels like she isn’t getting any help establishing her practice, especially from Danny.

Jeremy tells Adrian that the support staff has been complaining about him, and asks that he play nice with them. Danny suggests Adrian take them out for coffee or deodorant (because he stinks, literally). He politely agrees, but then gives Tamra, Morgan, and Beverly hell for complaining to Jeremy about him. Tamra fires back, saying he has no right to yell at them because he doesn’t even talk to them. Morgan says it can all be fixed if Adrian donates to the fundraiser, but instead of donating, he rips down their poster. Tamra gives Jeremy an ultimatum: Adrian or them, and he chooses them. 

It seems like there’s been a little bit of a resolution here, and Mindy finds some as well. Morgan knows a couple struggling with fertility problems. It’s none other than Cousin Lou! Okay, so he’s not the ideal patient, but he’s better than no patient at all. Mindy realizes that, and does what she can to get him on board. Cue the lie. Mindy confesses that she hasn’t had a patient yet, but hey, she got herself pregnant… despite fertility problems. That should be good enough, right? It is for Lou, who relates, with Danny in particular. “Just think, Dr. Castellano is shooting blanks just like me,” Lou says. “His sperm is no good either!” Mindy is in deep trouble. 

While en route to the clinic’s grand opening gala, Tamra, Morgan, and Beverly find Adrian sleeping, and living out of, his car and feel terrible for having him fired. When they make it to the gala, they tell Jeremy that they made a mistake and want him re-hired, which he agrees to, but it’s up to them to do it, which they do.

At the gala, which Morgan spent way too much of Mindy’s money on, all anyone can talk about is Mindy’s story. No, not the story of Mindy, a pregnant, American-Indian woman starting her own business, which she hopes will inspire a documentary. Rather, they’re impressed that Danny is being so open with his “problem.” Danny is the only one who doesn’t know about the problem, leading to a number of wacky mix-ups. Like when Lou tries to bond with Danny over their masculinity in spite of their common issue, or when Danny gives a speech, loaded with innuendo. The innuendo is unintentional, of course, but to everyone in the room, his speech was a brave confession of his problems with fertility. The cherry on top: He tries to pop a bottle of champagne, but it doesn’t pop. It just sort of falls to the floor, and no champagne spilled out (innuendo, innuendo, innuendo!).

Post-speech, Lou breaks the news to Danny, prompting him to make another speech, this time about how fertile he is. He even offers precise details about how his child was conceived—on New Year’s Eve under The Lion King billboard because Mindy looked really hot in her 2015 glasses, in case you were wondering. This isn’t good, but things do end up coming together for Mindy. No lies necessary. The solution is unexpected: Adrian.

Tamra, Morgan, and Beverly go to Adrian, and offer him the job back, after Morgan breaks his car window to “save” him. Morgan suggests Adrian go live at Mindy’s. Her place is empty anyway. Adrian then offers an explanation, saying he’s living in his car because he’s having marital problems. He could get his own place, but that would make his problems seem much more permanent than he wants them to be. He even apologizes to Tamra, Morgan, and Beverly, but completely butchers their names. An apology is better than no apology, I guess.

Morgan’s suggestion stuck with Adrian. He tells Mindy he’ll refer his patients to her clinic, if he can live in her apartment. It’s a deal, and Mindy says he can use whatever, especially the shower. Adrian’s moving in opens the door for a big step in Danny and Mindy’s relationship. Danny ultimately forgives her for the lie, but confesses there’s a bigger problem on their hands: Even when they’re busy, Danny was always able to see Mindy at work, but that might not be the case anymore now that she has her own clinic. Her solution: She’s ready to move in, and decorate his apartment as though it were a Baz Luhrmann film. 

Best lines:

“Tamra, I’ve told you a million times, my eyes photograph blue.” —Mindy on her subway ad, which has her with bright blue, photoshopped eyes

“It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t spend an hour planning your two-hour lunch break.” —Adrian, the new doctor, in response to the fact that he performed more procedures in one week than any of the other doctors combined

“I can’t handle being treated like dirt. That’s why I quit my dream job doing customer service at the cable company.” —Tamra on Adrian’s mistreatment of the support staff

“The guy stinks, and that’s coming from a man who sleeps with a dozen wet dogs every night.” —Morgan on his dislike for Adrian

“What is to become of me? My modeling days are over.” —Mindy on her struggle to get her clinic moving

“You’ve got nice feet. You could post these on some decent foot fetish websites.” —Morgan, trying and succeeding to make Mindy feel better

“Do you even know what my job is? I definitely know it. I just want to hear someone else say it.” —Beverly challenging Adrian to see how well he knows the staff, and to find out what her job is

“He’s living in squalor. He’s a total Beverly.” —Beverly on Adrian’s living situation

By the numbers:

Mindy’s outfits: 8

Amount raised for the nurse obesity fund: $187 (the goal was $250,000)

Cologne Danny keeps on his person, from Al Pacino’s fragrance line, aptly called Scent of a Man: 2

Baz Luhrmann-themed decor ideas Mindy proposes for Danny’s place: 4

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