The best way to apologize for being a jerk is to apologize for being a jerk. The worst way to apologize for being a jerk is to do so while pointing a gun (loaded, unloaded, whatever) at your audience. And we all know which method Tandy chose to go with last week.
Now he’s facing the consequences of his incredibly dumb actions. Not much actually happens throughout the episode — most of it’s spent watching Tandy deal with his punishment, which is luckily amusing enough to fill up a half hour of TV.
First he’s in the pillory, a bad place to be when Phil stops by with a loaded gun and sticks it right at Tandy’s head. Tandy tries to reason that, yeah, he directed a gun toward them, but at least that gun was unloaded. This defense doesn’t work too well with Phil, who fires the gun in the air a couple times before leaving. Tandy got to keep his life, but he did lose something in the process: “Gonna need a change of pants,” he calls after Phil. “Maybe some underwear, too. And some shoes, for sure.”
Carol, being the wonderfully wonderful wife she is, changes Phil’s pants for him and tries to convince the others to let up on the punishment. Phil suggests giving him one week of solitary confinement in the workout room, and then Tandy does another completely idiotic thing: He ups the time, suggesting they give him five weeks. It’s all part of his attempt to be super accommodating and hyper-aware of his mistakes in an attempt to get the Tucson crew to forgive him — what he doesn’t seem to realize, though, is that this is a tough crowd. Like, an unusually tough crowd.
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Carol’s finding it hard to understand why Tandy didn’t just take the shorter punishment that Phil initially suggested, something that leads Tandy to reveal he’s always taken the easier route and this time, he doesn’t want to. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Tandy becoming a man before our very eyes.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Tandy reverting back to a boy: Earlier, he saw Carol noshing on some homemade cheese (courtesy of Todd), and later on, he notices some of that cheese still sitting outside. So he does what anyone in a post-apocalyptic world without much fresh dairy would do — he escapes his “cell” and scarfs down the cheese. As Carol wisely told Melissa earlier on, “Cheese will make you feel better.”
Problem is, it doesn’t really make Tandy feel better. Maybe for a second, sure, but he puts it in his mouth, chews it, then spits it out twice — twice — because he realizes what he’s doing and feels guilty. He might as well have swallowed and enjoyed the mouthful of cheese the first time though because now his punishment is about to get worse. Much, much worse.
NEXT: Tandy keeps racking up the punishments