Consider Alexander Kirk officially in FBI custody. Consider Agnes returned from her spy-baby adventures. And consider Lizzie as clueless about her past (…and future…and present) as she’s ever been. And, while we’re at it, go ahead and consider Aram officially switching his relationship status to “It’s Complicated” on whatever The Blacklist’s generic version of Facebook would be.
The Box is back in play, Lizzie has to choose between various dads, and someone who was getting an odd amount of screen time turned out to be a mole: Yes, all is as it should be in Blacklist’s world. And, honestly, there’s so much going on, what with Liz being mad at Red, Liz pretending to be mad at Red to trick Kirk, Liz pretending to be all-in on Kirk being her biological father, and Liz actually seeming to think Kirk is her biological father — with 1,000 answers he’s ready and willing to give her, just as soon as he stops dangling her baby off a roof — that Thursday night’s episode left me a little confused on where, exactly, everyone stands.
And yet, we finally have one person standing exactly where we need him to get some answers: THAT’S A. KIRK IN A BOX! Of course, Lizzie seems to already think she has the answers we’ve been waiting for all season — she dug up a charm bracelet in a coffee can and had a couple hallucinations after reading a diary, like she’s freakin’ Ginny Weasley. But something tells me… Now that Kirk is trapped in plexiglass and Red and Liz are kind of back on the same page (are they? Like I said, the emotional waters are murky,) Liz is about to get some answers for real. Whether they’re the truth she’s hoping for remains to be seen.
THE THRUSHES, NO. 53
The episode opens with a skeezy man named Rene LeBron telling a few nameless skeezy men that since their combined assets of $760 million have been frozen by the U.S. government, he’s willing to loan them $600 million to get out of dodge. In exchange, he gets their assets once they’re unfrozen, and a nice little profit of $160 million. You know what else he gets? Jumped by Red’s men in an elevator! That’s right, Rene LeBron is the man bankrolling Alexander Kirk while all of his assets are frozen by the U.S. government — and he’s going to be Red’s ticket to finding Kirk, as he tells the Post Office.
Liz points out he offers up these Blacklisters with six degrees of separation from Kirk, whom he can conveniently profit from. I did notice Liz was being particularly petulant in this scene, but then I remembered petulance is one of her defining characteristics — along with bold hair choices and a faulty memory — so nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. That is, until Cooper calls Liz into his office, where she tells him about the alleged DNA proof showing that Kirk is her father and Red has been lying to her for three years. He follows up their meeting with a call to Panabaker to tell her about capturing LeBron, and we see someone has the call bugged… That someone, of course, is Kirk, who immediately has LeBron shot during FBI transport. To which Red responds: “LeBron is dead. Right on schedule. Time to send out the invitations.”
TWIST! LeBron wasn’t the Blacklister at all — he was just bait, caught with your hard-earned taxpayer dollars. Red, of course, explains everything straightforwardly to the Post Office staff. Just kidding… He sends them all “Nick’s Pizza” deliveries containing mysterious invitations to a room where they hand over their electronics so a man named Chester can perform back-alley airport X-rays on them. Once through security, Red explains they’re going full analogue: The Post Office’s system has been hacked, and they can’t risk any digital connections. In fact, as Lizzie slithers out of a dark corner to explain, their whole fight at the Post Office was an act — they knew Kirk was listening, and wanted him to think she’s pissed at Red and coming around to the idea of a Rostova family Sochelnik (Russian Orthodox Christmas). She later tells Ressler those are her real sentiments, but it’s important to note she was being that annoying earlier on purpose.
NEXT: A thrush…that’s like a bird, right?