We knew that sooner or later, The Big Bang Theory would have to face the fact that Leonard is married to Penny and Sheldon needs to come to grips with him moving across the hall. Sadly, a blue Icee and a portable pill caddy from The Container Store does not ease the blow. Sheldon does not handle the news well at all. With Amy no longer in his life, Penny on his hit list, his mom at church, his Meemaw asleep, Leonard’s mom unresponsive, and Siri’s inability to give him any useful advice on how to not feel completely abandoned, Sheldon turns to Bernadette. At least she made the top 10.
Bernadette encourages Sheldon to consider looking for the perfect roommate. Sheldon informs her that Gandalf smokes — it would never work. He is open to inviting Chris Pratt, though. Bernadette plasters on a smile and sees an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. She segues into a hard sell for Stuart to be a bonafide resident of apartment 4A. Neither Sheldon nor Stuart are interested in that particular agreement. Hang in there, Bernie.
Stuart is interested in finding a musical act to play at the comic book shop once or twice a week to give the store a more “we’re still in business” vibe. Raj suggests Stuart look into a group with a “filk” genre. NERD ALERT! For those of you who don’t know, filk is a mixture of folk music with a science fiction/fantasy undertone. According to Stuart, it sounds like something he shouldn’t be expected to pay for, and the friends agree. Howard has always wanted to be in a band. So has Raj. How cool is it that we can say we were there the moment Footprints on the Moon became a duo? Feel the chills.
Back at the apartment, Sheldon rushes Leonard through the ins and outs of nullifying their roommate agreement. Leonard turns in his key, RSVPs for their 10-year roommate reunion, and gives Sheldon sole ownership of the couch in all universes. Sheldon conducts roommate interviews, but he can’t seem to find a match. A chemist can’t tell him which element is too big for its britches. One guy smells, another has a Band-Aid, and Amy refuses to come live with him even though her credit report was outstanding.
Later that night, Leonard mourns his previous living situation until Penny reminds him that he can eat whatever he wants, set the thermostat to whatever temperature he wants, and let his body tell him when he has to go to the bathroom. Marriage is fun! The newlyweds run into Sheldon downstairs. After Chris Pratt failed to Tweet him back, Sheldon decided that the best way to handle his emotions was to restore his life to its last stable version. He is now living in 2003. If you don’t believe him, check the date on his super cool flip phone.
NEXT: Emily goes the Yoko route [pagebreak]
Leonard and Penny visit Sheldon after dinner. They find him in a bare apartment with only dry erase boards. Penny assures him that nothing is going to change. She and Leonard are just across the hall. Sheldon challenges Penny by reminding her, “Eventually you’ll want more space, and you’ll move into a house. Instead of dinner a couple of times a week, it will only be a couple of times a month. And then it will only be special occasions. Like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz. Or when Koothrappali’s weird girlfriend admits where she buried his body. Or Amy’s wedding where she’s marrying someone better than me.”
Sweet Penny looks at her weird, socially challenged friend and promises that they will take things slow. She even announces that the Hofstadters plan to stay in both apartments. Both agree to think of Sheldon as an annoying little dog, and the outlook doesn’t seem so daunting. Sheldon celebrates by drawing up a new roommate agreement, double checking that Pratt is still a no-go, of course.
Meanwhile, Footprints on the Moon is in a sweet spot with a feel-good ditty about a Norse god and an archaeologist. “Thor and Dr. Jones” spills out of Raj and Howard as if they had been song-writing partners for years. And it was glorious. On a side note, Kunal Nayyar and Simon Helberg are incredibly talented with a guitar and piano. Where have these guys been for nine seasons?
When Emily calls the song “cute,” Raj defends the verses about hammers and whips. Emily questions the musicality of the piece. They need something people can dance to. Nayyar’s Bollywood dance moves were impressive, but they didn’t change her mind. Raj runs to Howard to complain about the song not having a decent groove, and Howard immediately realizes that he’s been Yoko’d. He quits the band, and Raj follows suit. Roughly 30 seconds later, they get back together and celebrate the reunion with an acoustic set at the comic book store.
One question remains: Where can I get a digital download of “Thor and Dr. Jones” ?
Sheldon: You know what they don’t sell at The Container Store? Something large enough to contain my disappointment. Although if anyone did, it would be them.
Raj: Remember the Ark of the Covenant? That’s how much we’re going to melt people’s faces off.