Thanks to a busted water pipe exploding above her closet, Amy is forced to move out of her apartment for five whole weeks. Even though her polyester wardrobe is a soggy mess, Penny has just the silver lining for her temporarily homeless bestie: Amy should move in with Sheldon.
On the outside, this plan seems logical. But when Dr. Sheldon Cooper is in the equation, there are countless variables to consider. Who wants to peek behind that curtain? What if the romance dies?
Leonard comes to the rescue with the perfect Star Trek analogy. He convinces Sheldon to use these new living arrangements as a scientific experiment. Explore new worlds! Boldly go where no Sheldon has gone before! Amy is on board. It’s the perfect opportunity to collect data on their compatibility.
Sheldon finally agrees, thanks to Leonard’s Star Trek sexy talk, but he has conditions. He believes the environment must be neutral. And since taking up residence in a biodome somewhere in New Mexico isn’t immediately accessible, Penny’s apartment will have to do.
While Sheldon figures out the logistics of a five-week excursion, Bernadette and Howard are shocked to hear that even though they don’t want to learn the sex of their baby, Raj already knows. That’s because his father is a gynecologist. Also, he cheated and looked in the folder. More importantly, why is Raj going to the OBGYN with Howard and Bernadette? And how does he know she has a perfect cervix? Inquiring minds want to know. In the end, Raj never reveals the baby’s gender even though the parents go back and forth wanting to know what color to paint the nursery.
The next day, Sheldon approaches Penny to ask if she has any insights on living with a significant other. (Sidenote: Is the Pippi Longstocking look a thing now? What was up with Penny’s overalls and loose pig tails?) Across the hall, Amy asks the same of Leonard. The advice is golden. Let’s commit these words of wisdom to memory:
Penny: Compromising is key. Bring her a cup of coffee in bed and respect each other’s personal space.
Leonard: Never leave a belt on the floor at night. They look like snakes. Keep M&Ms in your pocket in case you have to wait in a long line. No flash photography.
As Sheldon packs to move across the hall, Amy persuades him to open up about their pending cohabitation status. She submits that all forms of coitus are off the table. This news is a big relief to Sheldon. In fact, he almost kisses Amy as a thank you, but lectures Penny and Leonard on water filters and avocado pits instead. #truelove
Once Sheldon finally reaches Penny’s apartment, there are other factors to decide. Which side of the bed should he sleep on? Will Amy always cough up phlegm when brushing her teeth? Should he be concerned about the memories in Penny’s memory foam? And what about cuddling? Does that fall in the “no coitus” clause they previously agreed upon?
Sheldon counters Amy’s snuggle request with one of his own: a pillow wall down the middle of the bed. Denied. Instead of spooning, Amy has to deal with Sheldon’s dreamy conversations with Dr. Feynman, weird snores that sound like a tired pirate’s “arrgh,” and flailing extremities that push Amy off the bed and onto the floor where she remains for the night. Does someone need a sleep apnea machine? I think so.
Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny rejoice in the fact that they are a married couple who is finally alone in their very own apartment. Instead of getting busy on Sheldon’s spot, they strip down to their underwear and bust a move. Leonard hones his Dance Dance Revolution moves to the quintessential booty shaking song “Tootsie Roll” before taking a hit off of his asthma inhaler. Attempting the worm was totally worth it.
The next morning, Amy complains to Leonard and Penny that she didn’t get a wink of sleep. Sheldon, on the other hand, slept like a baby since Amy had the entire floor to herself. When Amy suggests that living together may have been a bad idea, Sheldon reminds her of the scientific experiment. Who quits after collecting only 12 hours of data? Both spout off scientific digs using terms like “confounding variables” and “bonafides” while Penny interjects, “DAMN.” This exchange ignites the loins of our favorite nerds, so they head back to their place of cohabitation to make out for a while. Ah, young love.
Raj: I’m happy with your OBGYN.
Howard: Great, because she says you’re doing a good job as weird friend who doesn’t have to be at every appointment.
Amy: Sharing a bed is unchartered territory. How are you feeling?
Sheldon: Excited, concerned, scared. All the same emotions I feel waiting in line at Space Mountain.
Leonard: Enjoy your mission to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Sheldon: It’s Penny’s bedroom. Plenty of men have gone before.