¡Hola, muchachos y muchachas! ¿Acepta esta rosa? I hope so, because we’re in beautiful Barcelona, Spain for the sixth leg of Desiree’s “journey,” and it literally only takes her 14 seconds to say that this city is “the perfect place to fall in love.” At this point, are there any imperfect places to fall in love left on God’s green earth?
Harrison greets the guys in front of a café and warns them that there will be no cocktail party this time around, so “when you get time with Des this week, use it wisely.” Therefore the first date card goes to… Drew! But somehow the guy whose head almost exploded last week when he wasn’t allowed to tell Des about James’ chicanery is now
totally wussing out slightly less eager to be the bearer of bad news. “I don’t want to let the tension with James dictate my time with Des today,” he says. “If there’s time to address the situation with James, we’ll get to it.”
Good judgment? What fun is that? Even Des worries that Drew is a little too “reserved,” but he shatters that impression as soon as he meets up with her by declaring, “First things first: I haven’t been able to stop thinking about kissing you.” And once they start, Drew and Des can’t stop kissing. They smooch in the street, at the hot chocolate stand, in front of the “come back to Spain” fountain, over pastries at bubo after Drew tearfully tells Des his dad is a recovering alcoholic who now has cancer, while dancing in front of a trio of guitarristas before dinner… seriously, it never ends. (Side note: Hey Des, Sandy called — she wants her Shake Shack pants back.)
Drew is so “overcome” with lust he can’t even make it through dinner without grabbing Des and spiriting her away from the table — a stunt that forces some unfortunate soul on Team Bachelorette to wrench the dinner cam from its tripod and chase Drew and Des down a secluded corridor. And even though the camera crew is practically on top of them as Drew grinds Des into the wall, the Bachelorette’s orgasmic gasp lets us know that she LOVES it. “Wow, that kiss really made me see Drew in a different light,” marvels Des. “It really makes me feel special.”
Meanwhile, at the Melia Sitges hotel… Knock knock knock! It’s a tiny red Accent Table of Doom at the door! Who’s going on the group date? Brooks, Chris, Kasey, Michael, James, and… Juan Pablo? For the love of all that’s holy, what does this guy have to do to get a one-on-one date? They’re in Barcelona for Pete’s sake! (Yes, I know he’s Venezuelan. But close enough.) “I’m bummed,” sighs Juan Pablo. “I’m taking the risk of not spending time with my daughter to be here… I hope I can get a one-on-one date so I can spend more time with Desiree and get to know her.” Awww, cheer up, Senor Sexy! At least the group date activity is futbol.
NEXT: “What a f—ing a–hole!”