I’d like to welcome everyone back to Killarney, the city where Shawn nearly killed Kaitlyn’s tear ducts, Cupcake nearly killed himself, and the show nearly killed all of us with extreme doses of boredom. But hey, at least we’re in an appropriately titled city.
After what Kaitlyn claims was the most draining week so far, we are headed into overnight dates, which Kaitlyn says is “definitely the HARDest week yet.” Shawn agrees, saying this week is “only gonna get HARDer.” These people practically do my job for me.
And cut to my favorite visual of tonight’s hour: Nick, Shawn, and Ben H all squeezed onto one very tiny yellow love seat. Based on the gross couch from Kaitlyn’s last hotel room, and this one, I’d say the show is undergoing a few budget cuts. And you know what? God bless it.
But the guys are powering through their latest awkward moment as they wait for their first date card, which goes to Ben H. Shawn update: When Ben gets up, Shawn has a bit more breathing room on the couch, and generally, seems to be in better spirits from last week. (Read: He does more than scowl/pout.)
Preparing for her date, Kailtyn claims it’s time for her to really look at each guy and ask, “Are you my husband?” which funnily enough, is the title of P.D. Eastman’s adult sequel to Are You My Mother? It’s also the question Kaitlyn should’ve been asking this entire time.
At this point in their journey to find love, Kaitlyn thinks it’s time for Ben to see all the different sides of her, and not just the bubbly happy Kaitlyn (who literally cried for an entire week not too long ago).
Getting in a boat with Ben—which is only romantic for the one who doesn’t have to row, by the way—Kaitlyn is feeling a bit stressed, but that’s probably because Ben is rowing them straight toward a rock. Don’t worry, she’ll calm down as soon as they get to Innisfallen Island and play hide-and-seek.
Important note: Ben does not count Mississippilessly. Ross would be proud.
Left alone on an entire island, Ben and Kaitlyn really take advantage of their surroundings by shoving together on a tiny bench where they list the things that make someone wife/husband material.
For Ben, being wife material means:
- You’re hot. (His “you kill that one, babe” was cute.)
- Something about joy and hope.
For Kaitlyn, being husband material means:
- Not giving up on her when things get tough. (Again, Ben gets points with his, ‘I didn’t even know that was an option.” Someone brought his A game.)
Kaitlyn then declares that she’s feeling all of those feelings that she should be feeling when she’s falling in love. As for Ben, well, for the first time in his life, he’s going to pursue this relationship with as much openness and honesty as possible. In other words, he was a super shitty boyfriend to everyone he dated before now.
At night, Kaitlyn and Ben continue their tradition of riveting, controversial conversation with their discussion of loving fireplaces and whiskey. But it doesn’t take long for Ben to reveal his biggest fear: His last relationship ending made him think that he might be—yes, he’s going there—unlovable. But the way he said that without hesitation means he either A) doesn’t believe it; or B) Has a helluva therapist who’s talked him through this multiple times.
But Kaitlyn is there to be all “You’re very lovable!” In fact, she’s falling in love with him RIGHT NOW, even though he just told her that they’re not going to have sex if he gets an overnight date. For him, the overnight date is not about the physical side of the relationship, and he’s excited to stay up all night and talk.
Kaitlyn’s all ‘scuse me? Have you looked in the mirror? So after about 30 seconds of thinking it over, she comes to the only logical conclusion for a man not wanting to have sex with her on their third date: He’s a virgin.
AND THEN SHE ASKS HIM. Just straight out: “Are you a virgin?” Spoiler: No, he’s not, but he’s glad he comes off “innocent and pure of heart because I am.” Okay, Ben. Stop talking while you’re ahead. But really, Kaitlyn wants to know about the day you lost your virginity (because she clearly doesn’t believe you).
NEXT: The talk