My fearless predictions as of now (and having read no spoilers) for the final three: Chris L., Frank, and Roberto, with Kirk as a possible wild-card. It’s possible I’m letting my own love for Chris L. color that pick, but Ali really did light up as they talked about oysters and something called ”flip cup” that I have now learned too much about via Google search. (It’s exactly like you think.) Justin will stick around longer than he would otherwise, thanks not as much to his limp up the hill to visit Ali, but because the Bachelor/Bachelorette usually gets protective of the very people others are trying to oust — unless those people are as douchey as Craig the Hair Guy last week. Kasey will sing the song that’s in his heart. And Jonathan will get a bit part on The CW’s critically acclaimed drama Life Unexpected as Kerr Smith’s younger weatherman brother. But only if the part does not require kissing.
Now, onto the specifics:
Roberto, One-on-One No. 1
Ali picked him up in a helicopter, because the Bachelor producers fancy themselves as good as any trained therapists in scaring Ali’s fear of flying right the hell out of her. Hey, they got her to quit her job, right? What can’t they make this girl do? Then again, it is also psychologically strategic, as Ty noted: ”Ali’s scared to fly, so she’s gotta hang onto somebody, and I don’t figure it was gonna be the pilot.” Then we learned the helicopter ride was the least of it — now Ali and Roberto would be required to walk on wires across two Los Angeles high-rises to get to their rooftop dinner. A lot of heavy metaphor-izing ensued: ”Experiencing this with Roberto is important to me because life is challenging,” Ali told us. ”Going through something stressful with someone shows their character.” Roberto, never one to miss an opportunity to show his character, asked her to turn toward him halfway across, then kissed her for the first time. Mark my words: If he wins this thing, The Bachelor/Bachelorette will have proven one thing definitively. That is, if you make out with someone for the first time in a super-scary, dangling-high-above-the-ground scenario, you will fall for them. (See: Jake and Vienna.) And people say this is a useless show.
From the kiss on, it was just one Hallmark moment after another. ”When I look into Ali’s eyes, it’s captivating. It makes me think of what could be,” Roberto told us. ”I hope to watch a lot more of these with you,” Roberto told Ali while they looked at the sunset. ”You’re a really good-looking guy. I don’t think you know how good-looking you are,” Ali told Roberto. ”I almost wonder, ‘Am I pretty enough for him?’ … Not many guys can make me feel that way,” Ali told us. ”I can always tell whether or not I can be with someone by how I cuddle with them,” Ali told Roberto as she cuddled with him. ”You’re so cute right now,” Roberto told Ali.
Yeah. Enough of that. You get the idea. He got a rose.
NEXT: Run run run run run run run awaaaaaay! Wait, that’s a different song.