As far as stops on someone else’s journey to find statistically unlikely-to-last love on television go, The Men/Women Tell All specials are always my favorite part — juicy revelations, confrontations, and heretofore unseen (and highly entertaining) moments! But I don’t remember a special ever delivering quite so much in all those departments as this one did. In fact, this made me like this season — and all of the guys not named Justin or Frank — approximately 63 percent more than I did before. Kasey’s the best sport ever! Chris ”The Phantom” N. is hilarious! Craig R. is a stud! Jesse’s even hotter without hair!
Herewith, some of the highlights:
Ali perhaps overestimated slightly when she guessed Kasey had said ”guard and protect your heart” ”a couple hundred” times. I’d guess closer to 75. Then again, maybe several hundred times were edited out. Plus there was the singing, which she described as ”so awkward. It’s a little over the top for me, but I think there’s someone out there who will love it.” Oh, and then there was the tattoo, which Ali hoped he didn’t regret. We all felt vaguely sad, at first, talking over Kasey’s many memorable moments.
But things turned around for him throughout The Men Tell All. We saw a clip of Ali and Kasey’s date at the museum in New York, wherein they looked to be having a genuinely good, goofy time together trying on astronaut helmets. (Though perhaps it was no coincidence that Ali was saying, ”Houston, can you come in?… There’s a problem.”) Then his housemates, in their own twisted way, defended him a little. ”He did his homework,” Ty said of Kasey. ”This dude watched the show. He knew everything that was gonna happen, was about to happen. … The first time I saw him he was like, ‘I’m here to guard and protect her heart.’ I thought, This guy is Looney Tune. One thing that I have to give Kasey is that he stayed Looney Tune the whole way through. He stayed true from the very first night.” Or, as Craig R. summarized, ”He’s crazy as all hell, but I still love him.”
Finally, he took the Interview Seat of Dishonor, and he kinda nailed it. Or at least he owned his Looney Tune-ness, which is all we can ask. ”There’s a girl out there who would love that kind of stuff,” he said, and I’m inclined to agree. The thing about wild romantic gestures is they look really embarrassing and dumb unless they come from someone you want to be doing them. Then suddenly they go from stalkery to sweet. (Imagine any guy you don’t like doing anything John Cusack has done for love in his various movies. Yep, John Cusack would be a stalker if he weren’t John Cusack.) Anyway, Kasey also gamely admitted that he’s ”not a singer” but ”wanted to show her a fun side.” He wouldn’t back down from his tattoo decision, either: ”I wanted to show Ali and myself and whoever my potential future wife may be who I really am.” (I’ll say this: It’ll be a good test to screen out all but the most serious candidates for the position of his potential future wife.) Finally, he concluded, ”Ali had a lot of bad memories [named Frank and Justin]. … I’m at least a good memory.” Can’t argue with that.
NEXT: Sing it!