Here we are again, Bachelorette Watchers, back for another romantic ”journey”/Ali’s tour of penance for choosing mean and evil and soulless work over Love, The Most Important Thing in the World/salsa dancing lessons. And before we get started, I’ll note that I am, unfortunately, not your regular beloved Bachelor/Bachelorette guide Kristen Baldwin, who is out this season tending to new life on maternity leave. I shall do my best to live up to her legacy, though I know that’s a tall order.
So. Back to that other lady who has her priorities straight, dammit, our Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky. In case you avoided all news of the last Bachelor season and/or have somehow just decided to jump on the Bachelor/Bachelorette train now, in its 20th (!) season, a quick review: Ali made it to Jake Pavelka’s Final Four only to be forced to go back to work — or lose her job forever. She chose her job and gave up Jake, who went on to propose to her nemesis, Vienna. However, when offered the chance to return as this summer’s Bachelorette, she came to her senses and left her job to find love. In other words, she chose correctly, the show really, really wants you to know. ”The biggest mistake I made that night was choosing a desk and a computer and a keyboard over someone who could be the love of my life,” Ali told us while wearing an amazing grey off-the-shoulder sweater and staring contemplatively into the distance. ”It’s been very difficult for me to put love and relationships first. I let my insecurities and fear dictate my life, and I’m not going to be a victim to that anymore.” While she inexplicably tried on various adorable ensembles, she reiterated for us, ”I’m ready to open up and get that guy I should’ve had before.” In case we were unclear, she then strolled down the beach looking fetching in a bikini top and gauzy shirt while voice-overing, ”I’ve reprioritized my life.”
Just to be clear, what we’ve learned so far is that she has learned her lesson that LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING AND SHE WAS WRONG AND THE BACHELOR WAS RIGHT AND SHE’LL NEVER EVER DOUBT IT AND ITS MAGICAL POWERS AGAIN. And also The Bachelorette has a great stylist.
Now, onto the men who will do their best to decimate the faith she has put in this process. Through a smattering of lengthy background video packages, their individual limo arrivals, and their sit-downs with Ali during the first-night cocktail party, we met her 25 suitors, who would be whittled down to 15 by episode’s end. Here, a run-down of some of the standouts:
NEXT: To be fair to Craig M., we’re happy it’s not Vienna, too…