First, let me ask: Did Jeremy just get to hang out in the Bahamas the whole time DeAnna and the Js were in Georgia meeting her family? Did he refuse to get on the plane until he received more clarity from the woman who had already made it pretty clear she just wasn’t that into him? (Last night, on the season finale of The Bachelorette, Jeremy got one last attempt to win over DeAnna when she returned to the Bahamas after introducing Jason and Jesse to her family. More about that later….) Second, after thanking Loren Lankford for covering for me on the TV Watch last week (and recommending you check out her interview with DeAnna and Jesse), I would like to be extremely catty and call out DeAnna on that hot mess of a metallic blue minidress she wore to that episode’s rose ceremony when she bid adieu to Jeremy; I swear one false move in that too-short skirt and we would have seen her star-spangled banner. And finally, does all this talk of being in total love, knowing you want to spend the rest of your life together, and being each other’s soul mates after knowing each other for weeks — and not even spending all of that time together — strike anyone else as hard to believe? Yes, I know it happens. I give them all props for being willing to declare all that on national television, knowing the history of the show’s many failed past couplings. (And the After the Final Rose check-in with Shayne and London Matt did nothing to dispel my feeling that Blond Posh and Becks 2 won’t last the year.)
Okay, now to what was definitely not one of the most exciting Bachelorette finales ever. The crew (and DeAnna and the Js) left the Bahamas for a spell and headed to Newnan, Ga., DeAnna’s hometown and ”The City of Homes,” according to the town’s welcome sign. For the 5,375th time (although the first time to her family), DeAnna explained how she’s dating ”totally different” guys, a truth that would soon be crystal clear to the Pappases. Jason arrived bearing flowers for everyone and a basket of goodies; he easily won over the family, though DeAnna’s father wondered if his daughter was ready for an instant family. Jason, however, earned his respect by asking for his permission to propose to his dear Dee Dee, as no one’s ever had the guts to do that, according to Dad. And it’s something Jesse didn’t do during his introduction to the immediate family (dad, brother, and sister). He arrived bearing far fewer gifts and sweaty palms, but he did have a haircut! He didn’t seem to really impress Pop, who threatened to hunt Jesse down (with his son and large nephew) if Jesse didn’t bring Dee Dee back for frequent visits to Georgia. He also told DeAnna that he thinks Jason is more heartfelt than Jesse when he says he loves DeAnna.
Lucky for Jesse, he got another chance with Dad. DeAnna invited both of the Js together (shocking!) back the next day to meet more of her big, fat Greek family, including her sister-in-law, Yaya and Papu (my spelling may be wrong, but that evidently means Grandma and Grandpa), and aunt and uncle. The discomfort was palpable as the Jason-DeAnna-Jesse sandwich sat on the couch holding hands, and ”rad” was bandied about by Jesse and Jason (DeAnna’s rad, Jason didn’t feel as rad as Jesse). Yaya and Papu seemed to join Team Jason (though Papu realized it’s DeAnna’s decision), while the sis appeared torn, and the sister-in-law, who sees DeAnna as a ”free spirit,” was clearly on Team Jesse. DeAnna still seemed torn too (but did anyone else notice she brought up her ”no one dreams of being a stepmother” feelings, which she says she’s accepted, but did she really? Really?) And the snowboarder finally stepped up to the plate and asked DeAnna’s dad for his permission to propose to his daughter. (D. tipped him off; I just know it.) The sure sign dad wasn’t totally against having a snowboarding son-in-law? They exchanged nugs after a hug. In fact, Jesse exchanged nugs with most of the family. And not just normal nugs: ”blow it up” nugs!
NEXT: Take no for an answer!