Nine weeks ago, I stepped out of the limo in a too-short dress and asked you all for a shot at becoming your
wife recapper. In that moment, I asked that you all consider pulling a Desiree. After saying goodbye to Brooks, you are left to decide if this Chris deserves your final rose. And now, we’re here. I know that I have made mistakes along the way, but there are a few things I know for sure: My voice is at least three octaves deeper than Whitney’s, I’ve never picked an onion, and I shower regularly. So with that final pitch, I’ll let you consider your decision while Chris considers his.
Just in case you all thought they hadn’t played up the small town angle enough this season, cast your worries aside, because we are back in Arlington, and this time, we get to watch as Chris walks through his snowy fields in nothing but a peacoat and some loafers. In other words, Iowa hates what Hollywood has done to him right now.
Currently, Chris is searching for clarity as he falls in love with two women. HE COULD GO IN EITHER DIRECTION. Because, you know, that’s something your future wife always likes to hear: You really didn’t know that you loved her enough even 48 hours before your engagement.
While Chris sits with his eager family, Whitney gets ready in the hopping metropolis of Dubuque, Iowa, before taking a ride to Chris’ family house. I love how the car drops the women a good 50 feet from Chris so that they can get that classic “running through the snow in heels while holding stuff” moment on camera. Totally worth risking a broken limb for that one, am I right?
Arriving in flannel—and saying things like “gosh darn”—Whitney has clearly brought her A game. Well, except for the time she says his “family are so warm.”
Sitting down with the family, Whitney does
what she does best what she’ll never stop doing: She talks. First, she tells the story of how she and Chris made a baby, and then she moves to how she used to watch the show with her friends (who think she’s just perfect for Chris). But wait. Put down that food, Soules family. You can’t eat just yet, because Whitney has more talking to do! Although, this is a welcome interruption when she brings tears to Chris’ parents’ eyes when she tells them that she loves their son. (And only then are they allowed to drink.)
When Chris’ sisters take Whitney aside, Whitney continues talking. Fun fact: Apparently her voice never gets hoarse. As Kelsey would say, we’re all, as viewers, #immeasurablyblessed.
Sitting with his sisters, Whitney explains that she’s ready to move to Arlington, start a family, and have a new set of parents to call mom and dad. And the sisters are eating it up. Heck, they’ll even miss her when she leaves.
But it seems that the sisters are perhaps more in love with Whitney than Chris. Sitting down with their brother, they all but inform him that Whitney is the one when Chris starts defending Becca. Sure, Becca might not be as unwavering in her love for Chris, but Chris says their chemistry is hard to find. Plus, he thinks she’s “witty and charming.” And if he thinks Becca is witty, he clearly loves her.
But Chris’ sisters don’t seem to care about all of Becca’s “cool qualities.” They—and by they, I mean Lori—think the fact that Chris can’t articulate what he loves about Becca is a red flag. In that case, this entire, incredibly inarticulate season has been one enormous red flag.
Random aside/burning question: Now seeing Chris’ family, where does he get that laugh?! I need someone to blame.
NEXT: Chris’ family thinks Becca is funny