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The Bachelor recap: Northern Exposure

A trip to Canada results in yet another “near-death” experience for Tierra, while Sean is finally forced to reveal his lack of feelings for one well-liked “lady”

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The Bachelor

TV Show
Current Status:
In Season
run date:
Aaron Buerge, Andrew Firestone, Bob Guiney, Alex Michel, Estella Gardinier, Trista Rehn, Jen Schefft
Mike Fleiss
Reality TV

O, Canada! Jillian’s home and native land! Will true Bachelor love in all these dates command?

Welcome to the Canadian Rockies, rose lovers! It’s here at stunning Lake Louise that Sean hopes to put all of last week’s “drama” behind him and get his “journey” back on track. Harrison gathers the “ladies” to give them the date rundown — two one-on-ones, one group date — and to offer some promotional consideration for the Fairmont Chateau Lake Louise. (Confession time: I made my husband take me on a vacation to this very hotel after seeing it on Jillian’s season of The Bachelorette. It is, in fact, ridiculously beautiful.)

Date caaaaaaaaaaard! Which one-on-one-less “lady” will get the first solo date: Catherine, Daniella, or the Tierrarist? To everyone’s relief, it’s Catherine, who then bundles up in some warm gear (minus a hat, because, seriously, would you cover that hair?) and is dropped off in the middle of a frozen tundra to wait for her prince. Eventually he comes rumbling up in a giant snow bus and hands Catherine a snowsuit for their upcoming glacier playdate. Question: Why is the Bachelor allowed to drive the ginormous snow bus? Is not a special permit for that kind of thing required, or do the Canadian authorities assume all strapping young men know how to properly operate heavy machinery?

Anyhoo, Sean successfully steers them to the glacier, where they attempt to sled amidst biting, gale-force winds and swirls of sharp precipitation. “We’re being pelted with snowflakes and ice flakes and it hurts,” laments the Bachelor. “The wind is blowing so hard and it is freezing out here. I don’t know how it is gonna go.” But Catherine puts her game face on and frolics like her life depends on it, sledding and doing handstands and making snow angels with her man. And he LOVES it. “This is what I want from a wife!” marvels the happy but nearly frostbitten Bachelor. “There is no doubt in my mind, Catherine has passed the blizzard test.”

Phase two of the date begins with a horse-drawn carriage ride to a castle built of ice. (Sheesh, Sean — would it have killed you to have one part of the date inside? Canada is cold, dude!) They cozy up under furry blankets by the fire and proceed to reveal new things to each other: 1) Catherine has her nose pierced (okay, maybe Sean knew that already, but I didn’t); 2) At 12, Catherine witnessed her friend being crushed to death by a tree while at summer camp; and 3) Sean is “crazy” about her. (Rose lovers, please, help me out — what’s our “crazy about” tally at this point??) Of course, Catherine gets the rose. Sighs the Bachelor, as footage of the two of them making out in the ice castle rolls, “Catherine has melted my heart.”

Day dawns on the group date, and Tierra, Sarah, AshLee, Lindsay, Selma, Lesley, and poor, one-on-one-less Daniella meet Sean at the docks of Lake Louise for some canoeing. Immediately, Lesley starts crunching the date numbers: “So, seven girls, three canoes. If you do the math, one canoe gets three girls, one canoe gets another three girls, and obviously there’s one girl who’s going to get to go with Sean.” Ouch! As Barbie said, “Math class is tough!” Enough advanced calculus, Lesley — just elbow the other “ladies” aside and get in Sean’s canoe. And with that — and the obligatory “Sarah is pushing through the whole one-arm thing” moment — the gang is off, gliding across Lake Louise’s absurdly blue water.

NEXT: The Ice Queen Freezeth