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The Amazing Race recap: I Have a Wedgie and a Half

The six remaining teams head to Dubai to race a lot of camels and show a little skin

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The Amazing Race

TV Show
Reality TV
run date:
Phil Keoghan
Jerry Bruckheimer
Current Status:
In Season

We have an Express Pass at play, folks! Who knows what would have happened if Brodie and Kurt hadn’t earned that all important yellow card in the last leg — could it have been that the most dominant team of the last seven legs would have been eliminated from the race thanks to a “puzzle” that basically amounted to one of those little handheld water games with two buttons, a few rings, and some bubbles?

Well, no, probably not… because it would have been almost literally impossible for the Frisbee Boys to get as confused as Team Alabama who are always kind of racing on a scream and a prayer; or to melt down in quite the spectacular fashion that the Dancers did. Because that was… well, we’ll get to it. There are about two yards of gold Lycra — divvied up between 12 people, of course — and 20 kilometers of camel steps between now and then, so let’s get right to it…

The six remaining teams are racing from Tbilisi, Georgia — where we experienced fun dancing candy-makers and intense Georgian choreography — to Dubai, UAE… where we go to a water park. I kid, I kid — all of the camel stuff was fun, even if TAR has spent a good bit of time in Dubai over the years; I’ll probably never tire of adults being scared of a slide (though this particular set of adults showed little to no slide-fear). All six teams end up on the same flight heading into the eighth leg of the race. After they land in Dubai, each team has to track down a marked car and drive out to the middle of the desert for their next clue. And just as choreography is the great TAR equalizer, driving — and perhaps more so, navigating — is the great maker and breaker of this rrrrace around the world. For example, Sheri and Cole immediately miss their exit and sink into a last place slot that they never really recover from.

At the clue location, the teams are taught the traditional local greeting — a gentle nose-to-nose touch, (with eyes wide open, as Tyler points out) — and also pick up their product placement Travelocity Roaming Gnome to take to the DETOUR: RACES vs. OASIS. In Races, the teams take part in the tradition of camel racing by, well, racing the camels, which can run up to 40 m.p.h. The human racers get to be on bikes for the two kilometer stretch, but still… those camels are FAST. However, if they don’t manage to beat the camels on the first try, they get a head start on the second try, which seems a little early to start handing out cheat codes, but to be fair, there was exactly one team in this season that was physically capable of beating the camels in the full-length race…

And the Frisbee Boys have to get their car out of the sand before they can even make it to the Detour, a process which brings out a stream of curses like you have never heard before: “Alright, flip it!” “Frick!” Flippin-A, dude!” “Mother of pearl!” It was like a church league basketball court out there, but Brodie and Kurt finally arrived at Races to find that the Gamers and Team Torey have already tried and failed once. Ashley is struggling so much after their first attempt that Burnie makes the executive decision to switch tasks, which is probably for the best, because she does some pretty serious dry heaving back in the car.

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They head to Oasis, where the teams must lead two camels for a mile through the desert to an “oasis” where the racers get to eat Regag bread and drink camel milk. Dana thinks walking through all that sand is pretty exhausting, but once Burnie and Ashley arrive, they think it’s a walk in the desert-park compared to Races, where everyone is currently dying. The Frisbee boys actually do beat the camels on the first try, but they about pass out and/or bust a quadriceps in the process. Team Torey make it through on their second try, and though Rachel tried to tell Zach that biking at high speeds wasn’t really her thing (girl — me either), he wasn’t totally hearing her, so they switch Detours after one try. And Cole and Sheri… well, they make it to Races eventually… and they finish eventually… and eventually…

NEXT: Swimmin’ with the (big) fishes…