Welcome to episode 8 — brought to you by crude oil and the Ford Explorer — in which the six remaining teams race around Abu Dhabi and get kicked in the shins by local beauty pageant contestants. Turns out Toddlers and Tiaras have nothing on “One Hot Camel.”
Thwarted by a Speedbump and a U-Turn during this leg, Nicky and Kim finished last and have been eliminated from the Race. They were former bunnies who’d just transformed into ninjas. Weird sh*t happens in the desert. I don’t know how else to explain it. Suddenly they’d just broken bad.
The leg started early as the teams had to use the satchel of viking coins they hopefully still had in their fanny packs from Norway to decipher a five-digit sequence that would unlock Abu Dhabi’s fave auto: the Ford Explorer. Leo and Jamal embark first and right away Jamal just falls down out of nowhere. Good foreshadowing by the unforgiving desert floor.
Travis has taken to calling himself and Nicole the “Power Parents,” which is silly because their more accurate team name is obviously The RoboDocs. They’re just the most stable machine-contestants ever, spitting out the rest of the episode’s plot whether we want to hear it or not. “The ace is coming out,” they bot, confirming they will definitely be playing their Express Pass on this leg. Suspense deleted! Hope you didn’t want any.
“How do you unlock it with coins?” wonder Ally and Ashley. Well, first you hire a local blacksmith to whittle down the coins… no, just kidding. The coins have numbers on the back. The Ford Explorer is an advanced, highfalutin numeric-code car, not a fossil. This is a race, not an archeological dig. This isn’t Norway anymore. They’re not Ford Rangers. Get it together, ladies.
Amy, of Jason and Amy, had already memorized the code during her downtime. She’s speaking very quietly whenever she’s in the car lately, as if she’s about to fly off the handle at any moment. It’s unsettling. No, she doesn’t want to drive. They have trouble navigating to Sand Dunes, which to be fair does seem like a trick clue, because look around. That’s all there is.
NEXT: ‘That’s a cool way to climb a tree’