I’ve never been in war, but I’ve watched a lot of it on TV and in movies. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there is always time for love during war. Is this actually true? I feel like no, but that didn’t stop our characters on The 100 tonight. The battle has finally begun, and they’re making everybody’s fan-fiction dreams come true.
But before we talk about that, let’s talk about the Desert Crew: Jaha is marching with his small gang through the dark while a guy named Harris is telling a bad Grounder and Reaper joke—which I do not get the punch line to. He starts to tell another joke—which we’ll never hear the punch line to because he gets blown up.
Then it starts raining body parts. And as a woman tries to avoid the arm flying at her, she backs up and explodes, too. Turns out they’re in the middle of a minefield. It figures that on this show you can’t even walk through a barren desert without drama.
And if that weren’t enough, they have to wait out a sandstorm. (I am absolutely obsessed with the visuals of these desert scenes. Bravo visual effects and camera crews.) When the storm stops and they have the light to venture on, they no longer have footprints to follow. They’re grumbling about being in a death trap when they see lights up ahead, which means they’re close to their destination. “These mines are just another test of our faith,” Jaha says.
So ol’ Moses starts off in the desert with his walking stick leading the way and his four stragglers following in his sand wake. But a guy named Richards starts to freak out about having to walk in a straight line. Murphy gets in an Arzt joke (“A shower would be nice right about now… wash off the rest of Harris”), and Richards just can’t take it. He goes running through the desert before Jaha tackles him—right before he almost lands on a mine.
They finally make it to a sign that says “Warning Mines,” which signifies that they can take off running up the sand dunes to see this blessed City of Lights. Except it’s not a city. It’s just endless rows of solar panels and then the beach. Jaha says what we’re all thinking: How are these not destroyed?
So Murphy takes a rock to destroy one himself—and they’re promptly spotted by a drone. They take off running after it, hop into a canoe, and sail into our hopes of finally seeing THE CITY OF LIGHTS.
Back to the WAR: In Mount Weather, Cage is full-on angry. He’s said that he’s been safe in their giant bunker for 97 years, and it won’t stop now. (Apparently he’s never heard of knocking on wood or jinxing yourself.) His first plan of attack is taking out Bellamy. Next we see the rogue Sky Person, he’s having issues with his key card. The guard has figured out he’s not Lovejoy—took them long enough—so they start shooting. But Bellamy being Bellamy is able to get away and back to Maya’s house, where her dad and a guard named Lee help him out. It turns out not everyone underground is terrible. They help him get into the acid fog production area (there’s got to be a better name for that). Once there Bellamy coordinates with Raven and Wick—yes WICK!—on how to disable the fog.
Raven and Wick have been busy the whole episode flirting and doing science stuff, and I don’t hate it at all. It leads to great conversations like this:
Wick: “I’ll have you know I was a god at fluid dynamics.”
Raven: “You think you were a god at everything.”
Wick: “Empirical evidence doesn’t lie.”
But they have to hold off on their chemistry lessons (see what I did there?) to help Bellamy. He’s telling them about the room he’s in, and Wick just asks how “my boy Monty is doing,” which endears me to him even more—and I didn’t think that was possible. But enough Wick talk, Bellamy just wants to blow the joint. Raven loves a good explosion, but doesn’t want to kill Bellamy in the process. I appreciate that.
So the two geniuses figure out that they can use a cleaning option to neutralize the acid… or something like that… because science. The pH level drops—success! Raven and Wick celebrate with an almost-kiss! Everything is awesome. But of course it doesn’t last long. Bellamy is leaving when he sees a hidden valve indicating that the pH is fine. He goes to radio Raven, but Emerson and Cage are the only people hearing his cries for help.
NEXT: All’s fair in love and war…