Heading into a new season, there’s one question every Teen Wolf fan is looking to answer: Who is the new Big Bad?
Is it going to be more of a season 1 “Peter is bad” straight-forward mythology, or are we looking at something more complicated, like the season 3 “Void Stiles” business? From the season 5 opener, it looks like it’s a combination of the two.
This premiere came out swinging in what might be the show’s most ambitious hour to date. And as over-packed as it might have felt at times, you have to respect it for jump-starting the season. Seriously, if this season were Stiles’ Jeep, this opener would be the lightning bolt that got it running again. Too far? Well, I tried.
We start things off like we’re in the middle of a Hitchcock film. Outside Eichen House, a single raven—crow? raven? I’m going raven—sits on the gate as a storm looms overhead. Inside, Lydia stands under a very, very—possibly dangerously—steamy shower head. A nearby nurse claims she’s not buying the “catatonic act,” but when she turns Lydia’s head, it’s very obvious that there’s nothing going on behind her eyes.
Down the hallway in her room—in the supernatural wing of Eichen, I assume—Lydia is then left alone with a nurse who, in what might be the most disturbing scene this show has ever done, promises to be “gentle” before putting a needle in Lydia’s arm, pulling it out, and inserting it again. It’s highly sexual and highly upsetting. Either this guy is just a pervert, or he’s a vampire, because he appears to love the idea of getting a better vein.
Just before he can jam the needle into Lydia’s neck, she sits up and does what she does best: screams bloody murder. We knew she could do that, but what she does next is the real surprise. Out in the hallway, she takes down two more nurses—one with some Black Widow-style fighting movies, and the other by using what I’m guessing are sonic waves from her scream to blow him backward?
Just as she’s about to escape from Eichen, Aiden shows up! The bad news is that he’s not there to help her, but instead tells her that her “treatment’s not done.” So as security guards shock her, she falls to her knees and says, “My friends, they’re all going to die.”
And with that, welcome back to Teen Wolf, everybody! Isn’t being a teenager grand?!
Jumping back in time to the start of senior year, we find Scott and Stiles hanging out on the Jeep on a full moon. Stiles is searching for apartments. Ever the planner, he has a vision that involves everyone going to nearby colleges, and Scott and Stiles living together … with the Jeep in the driveway. But for now, Scott’s hung up on the more recent future, and more specifically, Deaton’s lesson about the regression to the mean. For the last few months, things have been good, but not great. They’ve been pretty middle-of-the-road, and that means the scale is going to tip at some point. In other words, things are either going to get really good or really bad. (And based on that timely lightning strike, I think you can guess which way it’s going.)
Once the camera pans out, we find that Liam has been there all along, chained to a nearby tree. Apparently, during the last full moon, the sheriff’s department got more than a dozen calls about a “monstrous dog boy” running around naked. (Hey, it was a hot night.)
But Liam assures Scott that he’s in complete control, so they unchain him … though his bloody palms suggest that maybe the shouldn’t have.
At the police station, we find the always-adorable Parrish on phone duty, and he’s not happy about it. After all, that jawline was meant for so much more! With that in mind, Parrish asks Stilinski to give him a real job to do. His first task? A noise complaint. (Okay, still not good enough for that jaw, but whatever.)
Although, to be completely fair to Stilinski, I’m not sure Parrish is a good enough deputy to handle even a noise complaint. Don’t get me wrong, I love him dearly, but did he really just drive up to a noise complaint at an abandoned house and not think anything was weird? And then when it sounded like Bigfoot was behind the wall, his first thought was that the giant behind the wall needed help getting out? Come on, Parrish. Surely the Beastiary taught you better than that.
But alas, it didn’t. And Parrish quickly learns his lesson when he hits the wall, only to discover a black ooze coming out of it. Half a second later, he’s being choked out by some sort of terminator? Nope, that’s a creature. Nope, it’s a wolf. What is that?!
NEXT: Yes, there’s a new bad guy, but are these high schoolers really allowed to stay out until 2 in the morning?!
What appears to be a werewolf covered in black ooze quickly realizes that Parrish is no ordinary creature himself. But when Parrish pretends not to know who Scott McCall is, new guy over here whips out his blacklight-looking electrified claws and slashes Parrish across the chest. So … can someone explain what just happened?
Well, all I know is that if Oozy—what I’ve decided I’m calling this new thing—wants to find Scott, he should hit the road, because that’s where he and Stiles are currently. On their way to drop Liam off at the hospital so that they can attend something called Senior Scribe on their last night of summer, Stiles’ Jeep cuts off. It could have something to do with the fact that his engine is 60 percent duct tape, but oddly enough, it seems to have more to do with the (supernatural?) storm happening. After all, how else do you explain the lightning bolt that nearly strikes them before the car starts again?
But seriously, are we dealing with something that can control the weather? Because that’s amazing.
Also trying to get to Senior Scribe is Malia, who’s helping her father remove a fallen tree from the road. And by helping him, I mean that she’s (literally) doing it single-handedly. By the time Stiles shows up to pick her up, Papa Tate reminds him that he owns a gun—always good to know—before Liam informs Malia that even he knows about the fact that Malia had to attend summer school when her test scores weren’t good enough. And no, she still hasn’t heard if she’s officially a senior or if she’s going to have to repeat junior year, so stop asking.
Thanks to the raging storm, Melissa is called back into the E.R., which is a good thing considering that Oozy is in her house long enough to find the note from Scott that he’s at Senior Scribe … and won’t be back until 1:50 a.m. Seriously? These high-schoolers have the coolest parents in the world.
Speaking of cool parents, Kira is stuck in a car with hers. Thanks to the same accident that has Melissa reporting back for duty, she’s in a traffic jam trying to get to Senior Scribe. But don’t worry, Scott won’t let her stay stranded.
After dropping Liam at the hospital to wait for his dad to get out of surgery, Scott informs his newest pack member that it’s okay that he’s having to bloody his palms every once in a while during the full moon. The fact that he’s still a human means it’s working enough. Scott also reminds him that Derek once said that Liam was one of the strongest wolves he’d seen at his age, which means that things will be harder for now, but it also means that he’ll be stronger later.
Brief pause for the first mention of Derek. Sigh.
Scott then rejoins Stiles, and none of them have heard from Kira. Apparently she’s been in New York for a while, but when she left, she and Scott were good. As he put it, he told her not to worry about anything and to go have fun. As Malia puts it, “Fun like bowling or sex with other guys?” I love that those were the two options.
With the thought of Kira with other guys running through his head, Scott hears about the accident and runs home to get his bike. Only, when he gets home, he finds that the note he left for his mother now has holes in it. Like, from claws.
Suddenly, all the magnets fall off the fridge. The clock freaks out. All the magnets fly back onto the fridge. The whole house shakes as if there’s an earthquake. And then suddenly, the clocks reset. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! And why does Scott just brush it off and continue on like everything’s fine? What happened to the regression to the mean, man?!
But shrug it off he does as he heads to get Kira, who’s in the middle of a supernatural history lesson. Apparently, there is a legend for a storm like this. It’s called The Wild Hunt, and it’s a story about ghost riders. According to Kira’s mother, phantom hunters would appear in storm clouds riding black horses with blood-red eyes, with wolves and hounds at their sides. What were they hunting? Oh you know, just souls.
Suddenly, this is feeling a lot like season 3.
But the rest of the legend will have to wait, because Kira hears Scott’s bike and immediately runs to him through the rain (which is ballsy considering he probably didn’t have very good visibility and just as easily could have run her over). Once reunited, Scott holds his breath as he asks if she had fun in New York, which is code for: Did you sleep with anyone else? Her response? “Not really.” And with that, they kiss. A lot.
Moving from that kiss to an almost-kiss—albeit in Parrish’s mind—we catch back up with Parrish, whose chest wound is now smoking. Injured, Parrish envisions Lydia, who touches his chest—ow—before almost kissing him. But Parrish’s vision is interrupted when Stilinski shows up and takes Parrish back to Melissa, who asks if he’s on fire. Just like that, Parrish sits up, and suddenly, his eyes are orange and, seconds later, he’s healed.
Parrish then brings Stilinski and Melissa up to date on Oozy’s “talons” and how it felt like the life was being drawn out of him through the claws. So they’re stealing souls?Just like the legend, yeah?
Well maybe, but the main takeaway is that Parrish is worried that Oozy is going to try to kill Scott, an Alpha, to steal his power. But as Stilinski—who’s clearly been studying up on his Supernatural 101—informs him, you can’t steal a True Alpha’s power. Yes, that’s true. But Parrish seems convinced that Oozy can.
With that, Liam, who overhears the whole thing, runs to the school to find Scott.
Fun fact: Oozy is already at the school, and he’s already rudely interrupted Scott’s latest make-out session, mid-ass-grab and everything. But we’ll get to that in a minute.
First, we catch up with Stiles, who apparently reeks of anxiety. (What else is new?) According to him, a recent conversation with his father really made him think: His dad lost touch with every single one of his high school friends, and that has Stiles fearing that Scott might not be his best friend for life. But Stiles refuses to let that happen, which is why he has this whole “vision” in the first place.
Stiles doesn’t want to lose his friends after senior year, and based on that kiss, he’s not losing Malia anytime soon. Although, he is losing her attention when Liam runs up and she instinctively takes him down. Now flat on his back, Liam informs them that Scott’s in trouble.
Spoiler: Liam’s right. Scott is currently fighting Oozy, along with Kira and her kickass belt-sword. According to Oozy, he came to town to claim a lot more than just Scott’s True Alpha status. But when a new wolf appears to help Scott, Oozy has his work cut out for him … and yet, he somehow gets his fancy talons in Scott.
Can we talk about how everyone stands around and watches Scott fall to his knees? Why is everyone watching as opposed to, I don’t know, helping Scott?! But thankfully, Scott doesn’t need help. After a moment’s pause, his eyes once again turn red, and he manages to stand on his own, break Oozy’s wrist, and throwing Oozy’s fancy talons away.
He then gives Oozy two choices: Stay and Scott will break something else, or run. As Stiles suggests, “I’d run.” (I love that Stiles got to have the tough guy line. Of course you’d run, Stiles. You’re human. Also, I love you.)
Everyone, meet new wolf Theo, also known as the guy Kira totally made bedroom eyes at earlier. (Yes, I just said “bedroom eyes.”) Apparently, Theo attended fourth grade with Scott and Stiles and recently returned home because he wants to be a member in Scott’s pack. Stiles doesn’t seem to be a fan, but Scott’s more worried about the thing that just tried to kill him.
Malia, however, is the most worried … about her grade status. But guess what? She passed! Malia is officially a senior, and now that Lydia has joined the group, it’s time for Senior Scribe.
NEXT: All the tears
So what is Senior Scribe? Sorry, Kira, but it’s essentially vandalism. Removing books from the library shelves, the seniors write their initials on the shelves in permanent marker. It’s simple, but such a classic high school thing to do. Up first is Stiles, who looks down lovingly at Derek’s initials as I start to tear up.
Brief pause number two for our beloved Derek.
From one emotionally significant moment to the next, Malia then steps up and writes her initials, choosing to put M.T. as opposed to M.H. But in the most emotional moment of all, Scott steps up, write his initials, and then pauses. Oh god. Is he going to write Allison’s initials? Is he? Oh no, he is!
Through so many tears, I watch as Scott writes A.A. just under his S.M. They’re together forever. As Stiles puts it, “She would’ve been with us.” And as Lydia adds, “She still is.” Seriously, so many tears.
With that, Scott and his pack take an epic, slow-motion walk out of the library as we cut back to Oozy, who’s now found his way back to The Doctors. Begging for another chance, Oozy claims he could do better if he had a little more power.
Just then, three Doctors emerge from a room filled with people in test tubes and other types of horrifying imagery. According to The Doctors, Oozy was supposed to remove the obstacles because “our time is limited.” Also, their catch phrase appears to be: “No second chances.” So yes, they kill Oozy, who’s oozier than ever, by the way. But aside from leaking black stuff everywhere, once he dies, ravens fly out of his chest. What does it all mean?!
Okay, now we’re back to our flashforward, where Lydia lies strapped to a bed at Eichen House as they tell her that the beginning of senior year—what we just saw—was when it all began. Now,
not Aiden her doctor asks her what happened to her friends, and with that, we get glimpses into the fates of all our characters. Here’s what Lydia’s flashbacks (with a flashforward) show us:
– Liam and Scott appear to be fighting? They’re at least growling at each other.
– Melissa slaps Stilinski.
– Kira gets in a car and drives away as Scott watches, standing under a busting lamp post.
– Parrish stands—shirtless?—surrounded by fire.
– The Desert Wolf has Malia trapped, and it doesn’t look like a nice reunion.
– Stiles is unconscious, lying on the ground after a car accident. He’s in his Jeep, surrounded by fire.
But how did all of that happen? According to Lydia, she can’t remember. So the doctor has a new idea for getting to the facts: Trepanation, the medical art of drilling into the human skull. Yeah, you can’t add “medical art” to the beginning of that and expect it to sound pretty.
And so, without so much as pinning Lydia’s head down, he goes in for the kill like he’s Izzie Stevens or something. And we fade to black.
So … yeah.
– Who is this Donavan character and did he really just threaten Stilinski’s life for putting him in jail? Surely that’s going to come back around, right?
– So do we think The Doctors and The Wild Hunt legend go together, or are these two separate entities?
– If Lydia is trapped at Eichen House, where is everyone else? What really did happen to them all?
– Is this whole thing taking place inside Lydia’s head?
– Where did Lydia learn to fight, and can I go there?
– What is Parrish?!
– Who was the creepy nurse at Eichen House, and why was he so gross?
– [Insert every possible question about the fate of every single person.]
– Do we think that, under those masks, any of The Doctors are hot? Stranger things have happened…